getting a doctor to take you seriously

RMacLean
January 2005

Many people struggle for weeks and months trying to get their child's doctor or pediatrician to listen and take them seriously enough to diagnose and treat their child.  This can be the case for conditions other than reflux as well.

Probably the biggest reason for this apparent lack of interest, care and concern on the part of the doctor is the amount of overprotective, over exaggerating, and high strung parents they see.  Another problem working against you is they parrot back what they learn in medical school about reflux in infants, that it's a simple, easily treatable problem.  Perhaps they simply don't know what to do next to help your child and they don't want to admit it.  They're taught that cereal in a bottle, elevating the crib and Zantac will fix reflux in infants.  When those things don't help it's easier to decide the parent is overreacting—they start to dismiss you, rush through your questions and shuffle you out of the office.  Time can also be a mitigating factor, we all know how busy and over worked doctors are.

Here are some tips:

• Earn their respect.
  It's very difficult to get someone to listen to you if they don't respect you.  Dress appropriately, be neat, clean and well put together. Convey a professional demeanor, as though on a job interview.  Do your research.  Learn everything you can about the illness, symptoms, treatments, etc.  I mean  really learn and understand what you are talking about, don't just repeat something you read or throw around big words to give the impression of knowledge.  Make sure you can pronounce everything correctly.
• Respect their time and help speed things along.
  We all know how busy doctors are, so do everything you can to speed up the appointment, while getting the most you can out of it.  Make a list before you go of the child's symptoms (do not exaggerate them) and complications they are experiencing.  Also, keep a detailed list of the treatments that have been tried with the child, when the treatment started and ended, reactions and/or results from the treatments, any tests that have been performed, when and the outcome of each.  Although the doctor has all this information in the child's file, if it's becoming thick, this will be much faster when/if he asks you about any of, than if he has to go digging through the file to find the answer. Don't expect that your doctor will simply remember your child's complete history.  Then, perhaps with all your new knowledge you may have a suggestion or idea about where to go next, respecting of course, that he is the doctor and asking what he thinks.  Instead of demanding, "This is what I want you to prescribe", try, "I've read that drug-X  can drug-X purpose.  Do you think it would be worth trying?"
• Bring someone with you.
  Parents can be overprotective and overly concerned about their children, that's their job.  Bringing someone else with you, an objective third party (perhaps the babysitter) can help the doctor understand that it's not just parental emotions clouding your judgment when you explain how sick your baby is.
• Never over exaggerate your child's symptoms.
  Sometimes a parent may feel like if they just exaggerate a little the doctor would listen.  For example, if telling him little Johnny threw up five times today doesn't get any reaction then maybe they think by stretching it and telling him little Johnny threw up twenty times today the doctor might think it's a little more serious and help.  This actually doesn't help, it will only undermine everything else you say and make it even more difficult for the doctor to judge the severity of the reflux and determine the proper course of treatment.
• Keep a diary or journal.
  Start a dairy or journal charting everything that goes in and comes out of your child and when.  If you are breastfeeding, it may be wise to chart what are eating and when, you may begin to see a pattern between your eating habits and their reflux being worse.  If your child is particularly difficult to feed, chart that as well.  Makes notes about everything they do when trying to feed them...these details can help the doctor determine what is wrong.  For example, in silent reflux the child won't spit up.  This makes silent reflux particularly difficult to diagnose as spitting or throwing up tends to be the most common symptom of reflux.  If you are charting their actions and have it in writing to show the doctor, he may begin to see a pattern of other signs of reflux appear.