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gerdland (aka infantrefluxdisease.com) theme songs

(All to the tune of Barney)
Puke gag choke, puke gag choke, It always feels like there's food in my throat. Here's a great big hurl, and now I think I'll scream, hold me all night so I can dream.
  ~ Written by Minnie

I can't sleep, my Mom makes me eat, my breath smells like funky feet!
Here's a great big grunt, and now I have to swallow, I think I'll do this for at least another hour.
  ~ Written by Minnie

I hate food, it hates me, I'm as fussy as I can be, with a great big retch that will land on me and you, won't you say you hate GERD too?
  ~ Written By Karen

My throat hurts, hear me scream, I don't puke so mom stays clean, with an arch and a squirm and a cough all over you, won't you say you hate GERD too?
  ~ Written By Karen

pukey prose

Whatcha doing?
Whatcha chewing?
What's that nasty stuff you're spewing?
Grab a burpcloth! Grab the Maalox!
Damn, there's spit up on those toy blocks...
and there's vomit on that rattle
Time to start the mopping battle.
Just this once it might be nice
to not be cleaning lunch up...
TWICE.
  ~ Written by Sarah B