This is probably a stupid question, but I've been dying to know the answer and I have no one that I feel comfortable asking except you wonderful ladies.

I didn't breastfeed---ever. But, I attended a breastfeeding course, bought a pump, and was fairly excited about giving it a whirl. Then, Noah came a month early and I had a c-section and I was so out of it and the bottle just seemed to appear in his mouth over and over until he was officially deemed "bottle fed." I know, bad excuse. My family was awful. They didn't mean to be, but they were all so paranoid about pressuring me into breastfeeding, that they did the opposite! My mom AND Brian's mom kept telling me stories about how all their babies gained so much more weight with bottles, and how breastfeeding was so hard and they never got to be any good at it. Brian just said things like "it will be wierd, those are mine, or are your nipples really going to bleed?" So, anyways, I didn't do it, and I've never NOT thought about it for one day. Am I obsessed or what?:oops:

It was so wierd. This didn't happen until about a month after he was born, but I actually had this physical urge to nurse. I wanted to try so badly, but I knew it was something that Noah needed to do from the beginning. Now, with his reflux, I can't help but wonder how much better he would feel if he were drinking breastmilk instead of formula. For the past 7 months or so, I've wondered if there is any way to breastfeed AFTER the baby is used to a bottle. Can you even produce milk? You're all probably thinking I'm nuts for even asking, but it has really bothered me, and I want to know if at any point I COULD have done it. I never asked anyone else because I thought they'd think I was crazy---I'm confident you guys will at least keep it to your self if you do!:-D

You're NOT nuts, Maggie! There were many times that I regretted that neither of my kids could breastfeed (both for different reasons) and wondered if there were some way of still doing it. I'm not sure at what point it becomes too late or even if there is such a point. I have heard of adoptive moms who have breastfed successfully though.

Maggie,
You are definately not nuts. I had an emergency c sectin and it was totally different to what I had imagined. Here you are sore as and they are coming to you in the night pulling your boob and putting it in a babys mouth. I didn't even start to bond with Cooper(my first) till he was a week old. It took 6 weeks until my milk came in (NO JOKE) and I had to feed, top up with a tube and then express- I don't know how I did it must have been the drugs after the C. It was really hard but in the end about 4 months I got the hang of it and then successfully breastfed.

BUT with Parker I can tell you that if I didn't have this experience I would never have been able to feed him. He would jump on and off so frequently that I would have never produced any milk. I was only able to feed him so long cause of the experience of my first baby.

If you want to breastfeed still you can, even if it is to express milk and feed him that. Go to the dr and ask for a script called OMG I can't remember the name (its probably something different over here anyway). But its and anti-nausea drug that helps produce milk and then start pumping. You can get milk, definately.

But I can tell you that people make you feel guilty but I fed Cooper 1 year and has Asthma and Allergies and Parker fed till 9 months has reflux and everything associated. BF is not a miracle cure.

Good Luck
Rachel

I found the drug it is called Maxolon here, it's metoclopramide hcl.

Before Maya was diagnosed with reflux, I was exclusively breastfeeding. However, when Maya did not put on weight they called me effectively a mad woman and that I was over concerned and that I should drink guiness to put on weight and supplement with a bottle. After that advice I gave up breastfeeding. I felt guilty doing this as I fed my non gerdling by breast for 11 months. But Maya was a nightmare to breastfeed. She screamed and arched her back at the breast and came off after 2 minutes. As you can see with the other breastfeeders on this site, breastfeeding is not a miracle answer to the problem! Anyway, when Maya was diagnosed with reflux 2 weeks after breastfeeding most of my milk had dried up. I felt that I had so much stress dealing with a Gerdling anyway that I could not face pumping milk knowing it could take months to recover my milk supply. However, there is a lot of guilt associated with breastfeeding/not breastfeeding so I still feel the pangs of guilt today. You should not feel bad about not breastfeeding. You are clearly an amazing mom to Noah and love and look after him. What more can you do for him. I hope that your doctor can help you if you do decide to express some milk in the future, but whatever you do you seem like a star mom to me!

Ditto Sarah, anyone here can see that Maggie is a terrific mom.

Oh boy do I know how you feel. You have no idea what I went through trying to breastfeed, and still didn't manage successfully.

Anyway, try this article, a lacation aid is exactly what you need!! http://www.infantrefluxdisease.com/lactationaid.htm

It's like a little bottle with a very small tube attached and you tape it all to your chest, run the little tube right down to the end of your nipple and tape it there (put the tape out of the way). Then, nurse away. The nursing will (or is supposed to) stimulate milk production and the baby drinks the formula in the bottle while doing so. I used this for a long time with Shae, for some reason it just didn't help me at all but I have heard of adoptive mothers who have produced milk from these things. I don't know that it's possible to ever produce as much as if you were just starting out (correct me ladies if I am wrong) but anything is better than nothing.

There are also medications that help many women, motilium actually, although not sure what they use in the US b/c that's not available there, likely reglan or maybe even urecholine. As well, there are herbs that are supposed to help, I just can't remember what they were. Trust me, I tried it all! Unfortunately, it was five years ago and I don't remember a lot of it.

The latching might be a little more difficult to master but I can't imagine it's totally out of the question.

Best of luck if you decide to try it!! Let us know!

Reglan stimulates milk production. I took it for several weeks with Catherine, but by the time I had any milk she was about 2 weeks old, and we were already down the hypoallergenic formula/reflux/colic trail.

Fenugreek is the herb you take to help boost supply, here is a little bit from breastfeeding.com about it.

Fenugreek and breastfeeding ? Fenugreek seeds contain hormone precursors that increase milk supply. Scientists do not know for sure how this happens. Some believe it is possible because breasts are modified sweat glands, and fenugreek stimulates sweat production. It has been found that fenugreek can increase a nursing mother?s milk supply within 24 to 72 hours after first taking the herb. Once an adequate level of milk production is reached, most women can discontinue the fenugreek and maintain the milk supply with adequate breast stimulation. Many women today take fenugreek in a pill form (ground seeds placed in capsules). The pills can be found at most vitamin and nutrition stores and at many supermarkets and natural foods stores. Fenugreek can also be taken in tea form, although tea is believed to be less potent than the pills and the tea comes with a bitter taste that can be hard to stomach.

I was foaming at the mouth to breastfeed Walker and long story short I had no milk at all. Believe me, I tried everything and this kid was starving. When Curran came along I did not even consider BF as my experience with Walker was horrible so when he was brought to me and basically wormed his way to my breast and started chowing I was surprised. My milk came crashing in and I realized that no matter what I did for Walker I did not have milk at all yet it was entirely different with Curran who was both bottle and BF successfully (no nipple confusion there!) With Iain I wanted to try BF again and as he was a crash c-section it took a bit for the milk to come in then at 11 days of age he was hospitalized due to RSV for 8 days. As I was not allowed to pick him out of the tent at all for the first 4 or 5 pumping and stress did not help and I lost my milk.

Everyone has a different opinion and stance on BF. You need to determine what is comfortable for you and that is it. No one has the right to make you feel like less of a Mother whether you BF or not. Quite frankly, BF is A LOT MORE WORK! I have done both and although I felt incredible guilt at not doing it with Walker successfully I can look back and understand why. I love my kids and did what was best for them and us at the time.

If you want to do it then go for it! I applaud you and know that you will follow through. Many can do it, but you are looking at a lot of hard work to start with. Once you make the committment you will be fine. Check out Laleche league for tips, but remember that they promote BF until the child is 5 years old, so keep that in mind.

I've relacted twice. Once when she was about 5 months old (she had been off for 2 months) and then again when she was 10 1/2 mos. (I had no milk for 4 1/2 mos) The second time was much easier since I was pregnant and making colostrum anyway....the first time was VERY hard but worth it. (i pumped and froze milk) I took fenugreek, mothers milk tea, and pumped about 8 times a day. She would never latch back on the first time, but i would just give it to her in a bottle. It took weeks of pumping( and very sore boobs) to get anything at all...and i never did get my supply back up as far as i would have liked to. The second time she WANTED to actually nurse ...and after about a week and a half she was getting milk. It is very possible to do...but it takes a lot of time and effort. I would contact la leche...they can help you get a pump if you are serious and they are really helpful too. They say as a guideline that it takes half amount of time the baby has been off the breast to get milk back up. (like no milk for 4 months it would take 2 to get it back) but it happened faster than that for me. Also domperidone is very useful for getting milk back, but i dont think they give it in the us.

Thank for all your positive responses. It really eats at me. I know breastmilk is not a cure, and I'm most likely never going down that path since he's 8 months now. BUT, I wish I would have posted this a few months ago, now that I know it can be done. Those days when he won't take the bottle, and he really does attack my boobs, I wonder if he's trying to tell me something. ***Why the heck didn't you BF, MOM!?!?!?*** I also have "leaked" on and off since his birth, and that always tempted me to try, but I just never knew if it was too late or not. Thanks, ladies. Next baby WILL BF.... And I guess I haven't ruled out the pumping thing, but I KNOW Brian would think I was a nut-job if I came home with a pump after 8 months of bottle feeding...:(

If it is any consolation, I have friends who never even gave BF a second thought and they have been attacked by their kidlets looking to chow there.:-? All three of my boys regardless of how little or how long I BF seemed to have a boob fetish, so I do not know if it is a sign or not, but I am leaning towards "not" as others have experienced this without BF as well.

Whatever you do Maggie, do not beat yourself up and feel that you missed out on something with Noah for not BF. I have done both and really the decision was correct at the time and I feel comfortable now with it although I was a nutbar when I found I could not feed Walker at all. It happens and the important thing is that we do our best with the information we have on hand at the time.

I am leaning towards "not" in the boob fetish thing, too. Cady only nursed off the breast for 4 weeks, the other 6 weeks were me pumping. She could care less about boobs from 3-7 months, then she had a sudden interest. She even now lifts my shirt, but doesn't do much more than try to play with them, like they're toys. (Sorry, TMI) Seems to be a common theme of many moms, even those who never breastfed.

Also, you have taken very, very good care of Noah, despite not nursing him. So, always remember that. He always seems to be such a happy little guy in his pictures. I know that's not always the case, but he carries those smiles, because his Mama loves him and provides for him the very best she can.

Maggie,
I didn't see this post until just now...sorry:
I don't really have much advice other than what the other ladies said. I have heard about relactating but not sure how it is done. Dont eat yourself up over it, either way wether you BF or bottle feed does not make you a better/worse mommy. For the next one...I'd prepare dear Brian in advance. Let him know how you feel about it and all the great benefits that come from it. Let him know that you need to feel he is supportive of the issue so you don't feel reservations about it. I can imagine how hard it would be to BF if someone is around constantly making remarks about it.
I had a c-section w/zac...and it was extremely...EXTREMELY difficult to breastfeed him in the first few days...heck, the first MONTH. I wanted to quit, but thankfully DH kept reminding me every single time I mentioned it, of all the benefits from it. We stuck it through and still manage...I'm just saying that it IS really hard in the begining but if you go into it w/ your mind set and let everyone know in advance about needing their support, you can do it. I've actually made comments to DH in the past about "those are Zac's"...he just laughs.
You could always give it a shot, if you do manage to relactate. You never know, Noah may take right to it!

I just wanted to say THANK YOU for all of your support with this issue of mine. I feel so much better since I've posted. I know this probably sounds cheesy, but your responses have given me a sort of closure on that topic. You all said the things that I needed Brian and my family to say in the beginning, but I didn't hear them until now. I'm not going to even attempt to relactate, and I'm okay with that now that I FEEL okay about it. Since this post, I've really stopped dwelling on it! Thank you so much for making me feel better!

Also, next baby will be BF, and I will make a public announcement that I need lots and lots of support from the beginning. I think my family was just trying too hard to not pressure me, and they came across as being nonsupportive, so it shouldn't be hard to get everyone on board! (I'm not pregnant...just speaking about the future)

Although I tried so hard to BF Walker I did not get over the guilt of not being able to do it until I had Curran and found out that for whatever reason there was no milk for Walker. The guilt I felt was tremendous, overwhelming and many made me feel like I was less of a Mother for not doing it even when it became abundantly clear that it was not my choice and I could NOT do it. I have every sympathy for people who can not or chose not to BF as the pressure is phenomenal.

The key is to keep in mind you make your decision to BF or not to with the information you have at the time and your situation. If you BF your next one (when is that again?:razz: ) I applaud you. It could very well be the day and night situation I had between Walker and Curran.

By the way, I am so glad that you feel some closure for this and think it was wise for you to post and get some feedback about it. When the time comes, I reccommend getting the book "Is That What They Are For?" I have it kicking about somewhere and found it to be informative and having the much needed humour one needs when BF.

I'm glad that you feel better about the whole situation and found closure.

I tried BFing Jonathan and was only lucky for 3 weeks after that he wanted to nurse all the time and I was just so worn out and looked like a ghost. I than switched him to formula and he was doing so much better. I felt bad at first too but I got over it .
Now being able to nurse Owen for so long already is making me feel great and I know that back than I tried the best to my knowledge to BF Jonathan but it just wasn't meant to be.
It's everybody's personal joice wether they BF or not and nobody should make them feel guilty for doing it or not doing it.