Joshua is 4 months old and has never been a great sleeper. He prefers to fall sleep in our arms, which we know is not the ideal solution. He has liked sleeping in his bouncy chair for a while and sometimes will do as long as a 6 hour stretch, but not often. Well, he's growing like a weed and about to outgrow his bouncy chair!

So, we've been trying to transtion to his crib, which is propped up and has the "nest" to keep his from sliding around.

I've read a ton of books about baby sleep and they all seem to have the same message...put them down when they are drowsy so that they can learn to sleep on their own. We decided to give it a shot this weekend. We put him down when he was drowsy after his bath and checked on him every few minutes, as he was crying. Well, 3 hours later we were still at it! So much for falling asleep on his own! No one got sleep that night...he was overtired and wouldn't sleep for more than 30 minutes at a stretch.

Has anyone had any success with things? I'm just not sure what to do next.

Noah would never really put himself to sleep, but he's finally gotten to the point where he will sometimes wake in the night and fall back asleep on his own (not lately, but he HAS in the past). He's almost 8 months, and I still have to rock him all the way to sleep and then put him down. My ped said I should try doing the drowsy thing too, but with Noah's reflux, sleep has always been so valued that we won't risk messing with it. I'm not a supporter of the cry it out method, but I know some have great results. I think four months is too early for that anyways. I've heard you shouldn't try it until 6, but you might get some more info from others with experience.

First I would like to say that its never as easy as they make it out to be. It is hard to get them to sleep on their own and takes time for most. Also, with refluxers, it is just something you shouldn't have to worry yourself with. And, at his age I just wouldn't worry about it. Do what works. I totally understand you wanting to switch him. But, for us it was just trial and error with all 3 of mine and will come when it comes.

I think you and I were reading the same books... :-) When Bethany was younger, she was very similar--would only sleep in her carseat or bouncer chair...not in her crib. The only way she would finally drift off was while being rocked and nursed.

No matter how hard I tried, she never learned to put herself to sleep...and still needs to be rocked/nursed to sleep.

I think that some GERDlings are uncomfortable when put down and really like to be held/reassured. Bethany seems to sleep much more comfortably when held or when put in bed with us (except that now she's aware that both Mommy and Daddy are there and will fight to stay awake and play all night...). That being said, I am a SAHM who doesn't have to work every day, so even though my nights can be horrific, I don't have to focus on anything other than running my household and raising my dd. :-)

I have to agree with Erin.. it is definitely not as easy as in the books. My boys have more or less been rocked to sleep most of their life. In the eralier days it was horrific, I would sit between them and pat both of thier butts at the same time (this was for day sleeps). Night wasn't so bad... they had a bath, bottle and then off to bed. I always loved rocking them to sleep but now that they are older, they will go down with only a few minutes of crying.
We went through a phase of putting them to bed in their carseat and then putting the carseat into the cot. I guess you have to do what works for you best.
It's not easy is it? (((HUGS)))

I still rock Daniel to sleep. If he cried for an hour before actually napping, there's NO WAY I'd be able to get three more meals into him after he finally woke up. Plus, when he gets very upset, he's sure to puke. At night, we rock him and give him his last feed at the same time. (He is G-tube fed.) We are lucky that he's actually a pretty good sleeper and usually does not need us on the rare occassion that he wakes up at night.

What worked for us was to just keep at it.:( I know that's not what you want to hear.

The best book I read was the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It had the most practical "method" for coming up with a routine. You know, my refluxer is my third baby... you'd think I could figure out how to get the kid to sleep. But GERD was a big part of the issue.

Anyway... What I did was come up with a very simple routine and I do that every time I put him to bed or nap. At first, I'd get him settled, set him down and he'd freak. So I picked him up and started over. Some days I seriously picked him up 30 or 40 times before he'd finally fall asleep - this is different from crying it out in that I was there and reassuring him even though he'd be fussing up a storm. Eventually (weeks and weeks later) he did start to stay asleep. Since about, oh, 8 months? - maybe a little younger - he is awake when I lay him in his crib and he just goes to sleep. It took a lot of work.

Consistency was really important. That and I had no problems using the swing, the bouncy seat, the car seat, swaddling... whatever worked. I think we swaddled him until he was 6 months old!:shock: Eh... eventually your little guy will get it... it's just harder when they're uncomfortable.

Ditto what someone else said... you have to stay at it.

IT DID WORK for us. It took about a week and now Lauren is a fab sleeper. Well not at this moment because she's sick..:(

If you stay at it, by checking in on him to make sure he's ok, then it should eventually work. Just make sure that if you let him cry, make sure there's absolutely nothing wrong with him. Just let him know that you're still there if you need him. My book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" suggests not picking them up. Just reassurance.

Hi Joshua's mum

Both my children were bad sleepers, my eldest son Taylor never slept through till he was 3 yrs old and Oliver who has reflux slept through all night when he was 18 months old. We did the returning to bed in 5 minute intervals and i can say it does work, it took us three nights of sheer hell but he soon got the message. Now bless him he goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps till 6.30am. You feel like the worst mother in the world when you doing this routine but believe me when you cracked it its a lovely feeling. All i can advise is you keep on trying although yes it is hard and is so easy to give in. We all here for you to vent your fustrations out on
take care and best wishes
Cheryl
Oliver's mum

About two weeks ago, we totally hit rock bottom. We decided to let Catherine scream her head off all night long if she was so inclined. Which she did the first few nights. She now cries (screams, not whimpers!) about 11:00pm and we ignore her. She cries about 2:00am and we ignore her. She cries about 4:00am and I give her a 4oz bottle; she's truly hungry at this point. She would certainly take a bottle if offered to her at the other times, but I believe those wake-ups are habit, not not genuine hunger. She's crying for shorter and shorter periods of time now, too. Maybe 10 minutes at a stretch. She wakes again crying around 6:00am, and depending on how much progress I've made toward getting myself ready for work, I'll either get her up or let her cry herself back to sleep for another hour until she has to get up to go to the babysitter.

We backslid a little bit last weekend when she got sick again, but we're getting back on track. The only downside is the screaming has morphed into outright shrieking that just about bursts your eardrums!

hi there,
I can relate. Zackary was doing well with the sleeping.Than when he started cutting teeth he put her up! My husband has trouble going back to sleep if woken .So I lay down my little boy in the guest room to sleep (bad move) now every night around 12 he wakes up screaming to get out with me. I want to try the cry it out way, but he cries till he pukes. And where weight is an issue with him,plus he's given up his bottles at 11months I need every mouth full to stay down. Good luck with whatever you try.


patsy

Miori I found that having the same routine has worked well! For naps and bedtime we sit in the rocking chair and read goodnight moon I also play the same cd during his naps and at bedtime to signal that it's time to sleep. After reading and rocking him for about 5 min I lay him in his crib drowsy but still awake. If he cries I let him go for a few minutes and then go in and check on him (usually have to put pacifier back in) Sometimes he'll go right to sleep and other times I have to go in several times to comfort him but I never take him out of the crib I just pat his back or rub his head for a minute until he stops fussing and then leave the room again. It usually doesn't take very long for him to fall asleep. Also you may want to try to transition him slowly like one nap a day first and then all of his naps until he's use to the crib then put him to sleep at night there. Connor hated his crib at first! When we first tried to transition him from the bassinet I had to put the bassinet in the crib to get him use to it then finally after about 2 weeks we removed the bassinet and he slept in the crib! Good luck it will happen just be consistant!

I am a first time Mom who made every mistake there was, except sticking to my routine even when it was obviously futile.

I have read every book out there from Dr Sears to Dr Ferber and found soooo far that if you try something for a week and it doesn't work maybe there is a reason. I tried CIO at nap time for about 4 days 3 weeks ago and got nowhere. Now I think he was too young. And I feel bad, but I got a lot of pressure from my sister to do this method, so I did.

Then for the next 3 weeks I did the Baby Whisperer/No Cry Sleep Solution methods and saw some minor improvement at naps. He was still an early waker - would wake up at 30-40 min and need a nap every hour or so.. our problem really hasn't been falling asleep, just staying asleep. It would take me anywhere from 10min to 45 min to get him to fall back asleep and although he was happier for it I was getting a little sick of standing over his crib patting his butt and - wait - here is the key (I think) holding the pacifier in his mouth until he fell asleep again.

SO we decided that last night we would take away the pacifier. I did hold him/swayed with him till he fell asleep and he did pretty quickly. Again, falling asleep hasn't been the big issue. Habitual wake ups at 11:30 and 4:20 (he gets up at 1:30 or so to eat) So when he woke up at 12:04 last night we let him fuss for a few minutes. I made sure he didn't puke, gave just a couple butt pats and left the room. He cried for approx 12 more minutes then abruptly stopped and fell asleep. Then woke up at 1:30 to eat, then not until 6:00!!

Now nap time and he woke up at 40 minutes and fussed for a few minutes, cried a few minutes, checked on him and he was ticked! So left the room and cried a few more minutes and now has been asleep for another hour since the crying stopped.

Okay moral to my story is be consitent with routine for putting down even if it brings you to tears. It has brought me to the brink of devastation trying to get him to sleep - trust me I know...... But keep it up. It can be very simple or as much as you think he needs, but do it every time. We do have a different routine for nap and bed. Naptime is abbreviated. Nap I just pick him up aftere 2hours of awake time, change his diaper and walk him around a bit. He gets very sleepy at this point and I can put him down drowsy.

Bedtime we came up with a routine really to keep him up a little later so DH could have some play time in the eve. It starts at 6:30 and he is really ready for bed by 7:30. Bath, lotion, jammies, bottle, 2 books, bed. DH participates in bath and reads the books.

HTH- I am going to copy this to the CIO post.

I am slightly opptomistic today for a change.

Meg and PJ
7/28/05