This isn't for you guys with babies, but it may be good for you to read.

I have a very BIG question!

How do you guys discipline your fundo kids? I have created a monster over here. Before his surgery it was "dont get on to him or he will puke" now over here it is," don' get on to him or he will wretch, gag, choke, cough, get belly ache, and then diarrhea" until I regret disciplining him in the first place.

Am I going to create a monster who is still going to be living at home at the age of 50, kicking back on my couch watching cartoons? This is a serious concern. Each time he gets in trouble he gets sick so how do I do this??? LOL, :shock:

Here is an example, he got in trouble at Sabins soccer game last weekend and he choked gagged and wretched because he was mad and crying all the way home, he finally got up some puke around the corner after trying all the way here and then he was on the floor with a tummy ache and then in the bathroom with an upset tummy. This is what happens when he gets upset. anyone else??

Well, Shae hasn't had a fundo but does barf, gag, choke and wretch if she cries too much, which always happens when I discipline her. My theory at this point is if she chooses the behaviour, she chooses the consequences. For example, she knows that when she cries and gets upset she was barf, choke, etc, etc. So, if she chooses to pitch a fit over something, I ignore the barfing, etc. She is sent to her room and if she barfs she has to clean it up. I don't have to worry about popping a wrap if she wretches too hard though, so not sure if I would handle it that way if that were the case.

Sorry, I guess I didn't help at all. :oops:

LOL, but you did help by just saying I am not alone in the difficulty in disciplining these little difficult boogers of ours :lol:

I'm not a post-fundo Mom, Erin, but having been there with the upset vomiter, I certainly understand the dilemma. My advice is to continue being persistent in your discipline of Eli and just to ignore the upsetness turning to gagging, retching and vomiting behaviour. As hard as that sounds, after a while, it can work.

We've been there in a similar situation with a different source with Trey. When he was younger, I got a lot of "I don't feel good" or "I can't breathe" (whch is scary and not to be taken lightly until you know your kid is trying to put one over on you) when he was upset or didn't want to do something. The message we tried to get across was "You're not sick. Your lungs just don't work right." And if you choose to take advantage of the situation or subsequently MAKE yourself sick by your own actions (as he was still quite the puker with a trigger gag reflex until early elementary age), you will be punished or miss out on activities or whatever was appropriate to the situation.

Lesley,

That may work when he is older but as of now, I am afraid he will damage the wrap. when he cries he coughs, which before surgery he would puke and be done with it but now it just keeps going and going and going because he can't puke... and he doesn't comprehend yet either so.... Ugh... I am sure it will get easier when gets a bit older....

Thanks for the input guys... :D

On top of worrying about the wrap, Erin, it makes it tougher b/c Eli is the "baby" of the family.

Eli is still really young, Erin. Would it help to just ignore him when he starts to get out of control? Sort of a "Go ahead and get yourself all worked up because it doesn't bother me one bit" approach?

LOL, Janette :oops: Yes, it doesn't help that he is the baby...

When I try the go ahead and get all worked up approach that is when things get ugly, hence this post.... :lol: And, the wrap issues... :shock:

Boy do I udnerstand this one because my 6yr old Brandon will choke,gag,and cough so hard when he begins to cry from getting in trouble. I do know that he has not blown his wrap yet and had surgery done 5yrs ago but it still worries me. He will also complain about stomach hurting and not wanting to do something because of it. I wish I had the magic answer for you but dont. Just wanting to let you know that your arent alone in this.

Melanie

Oh Erin,
Here I was sitting over here thinking I was the only Mommy in the world with this problem. :) Noah had his 1st wrap when he was just shy of 3 years old and we have been dealing with this behavior thing now for 3 years. 3 Very, very long years. Noah would pull the same song and dance for us as Eli is with you. For us school this year at age 6 !!! Was the life saver because he doesn't dare act up for people when I'm not around. He doesn't have too much of a problem acting up if I'm present. Now with Eli being home schooled that isn't going to be his savior now is it ?
For the years prior to this year I just learned to adapt and choose my battles with him. Yes, it wasn't and still isn't fair to my other three kids but, you know I ended up struggling with this for so long I finally took the attitude that life isn't fair and after a few months of the other kids getting used to the fact that Noah's was going to get an easier ride then the rest of them then all of the sudden Noah realized hey, wait a minute moms treating me different, and he started to straighten up because you know all kids crave structure and discipline. I think it just took a little more maturity. In the past I nearly stood on my head for Noah because after all he's had 4 wraps and a good cry with a retch & gag could pretty much mean another surgery for us. Now I wanted Noah to behave just as much as the other kids, but you know what Noah wasn't like the other kids. They have not ad surgeries and hospital stays their entire life. They do not deal with daily limits due to a medical problem so I just told them that Noah was getting treated different and that I knew it wasn't fair but, that life was not fair and reminded them that Noah had surgery, ect, ect. Now for me it was the hardest on Shanea his younger sister by a little less then a year, the older kids Tyler & Breeze got it and never really gave me too much lip about it. Whew....that was a long winded reply wasn't it ??? I hope this helps you out a bit.

Melanie and Katy,

Thanks, :love7:

It helps so much to know others are trying to figure this out as well!

And, Eli has got it made in that department, Katy. I don't have to worry about a younger sibling. My boys are so terrified of him that they do more for him than I do. They have watched him suffer right along with us and are totally sympathetic. It is usually Sabin who is saying, "Mom, stop, dont make him cry, you know we will all pay, and he will be sick for 2 days!" and they make me feel worse by saying, "Poor Eli"....

They run to get him drinks, cold cloths, whatever we need to calm him down before it gets ugly. LOL! i have sent been sending him to his room and walking off so I am not paranoid that it will be that one big wretch that does it and that has been helping someone what. He just has to learn to control it and to understand what happens to his body when he gets upset.

Eli does seem to be understanding more lately so I can talk him out of most things. But, he is still 3 so I am sure it will get better somewhere down the line. And, yes, I won't be sticking him in a classroom anytime soon so there goes that :lol:

I am not saying he is a brat, this isn't everyday thing, its just when he does get in big trouble, it is almost dangerous for him, or it actually is. I don't want to find out! :shock:

THANKS!!!! ((((((hugs)))))) to all

(((hugs for you))) & Eli :)
It will get better, and what good big brothers :)