Where do I begin? Problem is back 10 fold...Last night was NOT fun. Zac normally sleeps from 745-6am sometimes he's up at 5am and back down for an hour or so. Anyhow recently on occassions he's been waking up crying and hour after going down. I usually just come in and give paci or rock him and he's back down for the night w/out much fuss.
Well, last night he woke up crying at about 830 and I rocked him until he was "asleep" and put him down only to have his eyes pop open and start crying again. This happend SIX TIMES between then and 1030pm! Between the fourth and fifth try, I let him cry a bit before I went in, to see if he'd deal w/his issue himself. Needless to say I had to get him again. He was up again crying at 3am, I rocked him to sleep two times and same thing happend. Finally, I let him deal w/his issues and he cried off and on until 5am!!!! I just feel that he knows I'll eventually go in there and pick him up so I tried not to. I did go in there several times to comfornt him w/out picking him up and that just ticks him off MORE.
He goes in and out of these phases where he just keeps waking back up to be rocked. It makes me nuts because I cannot and will not do this forever! I DID check and change his diaper, thinking it were too tight or wet or something. I also gave him motrin, incase it's the teeth. OTher than that I just tried rocking and comforting him. I really would think he was out like a light after the "limb test" where I lift up his arm and it falls back dead weight down w/no extra squirms afterward. When he hits the crib, forget it. He was never like this before this is just starting. Maybe it's nighttime separation anxiety? I dont' know, could be teeth. However, I cannot keep playing this rocking thing with him. Hopefully we just had tummy troubles or something last night.

What gets me is that when I let him "cry it out" in his bed, he seems to wake up crying from naps and in the middle of the night after that because he remembers that I let him cry or something. Like he's associating the crib w/anger. He just got back into playing and babbling for half hour at a time in his crib and now he's ticked off again but I cannot continue this rocking game. I guess I'm going to try the three day thing. I'll rock him initially to sleep and then if he wakes again i'm not picking him up again. Unless I should not even rock to begin with? But that has always worked in the past and if he woke he'd stir a bit and go back to sleep. See if he eventually gets better, and BE CONSISTENT. I guess that's my problem as they say if you're going to do something be consistent as if you don't, it just confuses them. SOOOO what i'm getting at is I guess up until now zac's been thinking "okay I have to cry 'this long' and she'll eventually come get me." Because I always eventually do. SOOO I guess once he realizes after a couple days that I wont come get him (although I feel horrible) maybe he will stop this crap. Just my thoughts. Anyhow I'm just frustrated and hoping no one thinks I'm a "bad mommy" for wanting to try this out. Everyone's different and Zac gets PLEANTY of love and attention during the day. I just really think he gets so angry and upset because mommy's not scooping him up right away. :? Open to thoughts and suggestions!!

By the way, if anyone was wondering...if it were reflux he'd still be screaming when I picked him up/rocked him. :wink:

So far these afternoon naps have been the game. I've read that you shouldn't attempt nap time goals until you've got the nights down pat...so we're going to work on the nights first. I guess....i can say that when he's waking up from his afternoon naps (cat naps) today he is starting to cry and then stopping. Maybe that's a sign that he's realizing that he's okay by himself in there...i'm really not sure, could be just a fluke! <sigh> I just don't want a repeat of last night! :shock: Lesley, I FEEL FOR YOU!

Sara,

Welcome to my world! LOL

Seriously, in all my recent research I read that once babies are past 6 months or so, going back in to "comfort" them only serves to make them angrier when you eventually leave again. This is soooooo true of Catherine. She stops crying immediately if I go in and pick her up (a pat on the back would make no difference) but as so as I even start to lower her back in her bed, she starts screaming again. Not crying. Pissed as all get out! Soooo, I've stopped going in unless I hear her start to choke (which I'm not convinced she doesn't do on purpose after a while. I think she's scary-smart!)

It's harder on you than it is on him, Sara. As long as you know he can't hurt himself, let him scream. Go outside and read a book if you can't stand to hear him any longer. I know it's easier said than done, but I can tell we're making some progress. We'll see how this weekend goes with naps as she's at a babysitter during the day all week and still doesn't nap there.

Hang in there!

Sara, I agree with Lesley on this one. In my experience with Kaylin, who I held and walked to sleep from day one...once we reached nine months, I had had enough and I wished every day that I would have taught her to go to sleep on her own, because it was super-hard and she cried so angrily and I was so anxious that DH literally held me back, physically so I wouldn't go in there and rescue her. I eventually had to leave the house and step outside, so I couldn't hear her wails. It was heartbreaking, and it took a WEEK for her to start going to sleep on her own...that's a week before she realized that I wasn't going to go in there. It was exhausting for and me, but a lesson well-learned.

So, you are NOT a bad mom if you let Zac cry it out a little. He's safely tucked into his crib with nothing there to harm him. You can feel confident that he will learn to comfort and sooth himself, but please give yourself a break from the crying at night...step away, take a bath and CLOSE the door. It's super-hard, take it from me. Oh, and the other advice, set a schedule and routine for naps and bedtime and follow them as closely as possible. That isn't easy, either, but it's important because then Zac will know the cues to bedtime.

Take it from a seasoned bedtime fighter, it will get better and you're doing the right things. You're a good mom.

Oh, and the other advice, set a schedule and routine for naps and bedtime and follow them as closely as possible. That isn't easy, either, but it's important because then Zac will know the cues to bedtime.

we've had a consistent bedtime schedule since about one month of age, the time wasn't always 745, I WISH! LOL ...but we have had the same ritual night after night for 6 months now. Naptimes are pretty much set in stone aswell...wether he takes them or not is a diff. story! LOL...
I have to tell myself that the hell I will go through these next few days will be worth it in the long run, I guess. I'm pretty certain that there is nothing physically wrong w/him other than just being plane ol' p*ssed off. :evil:

by the way...i'm sensing from the lack of replies here that were the "minority" of this "tough love" stuff. LOL!

Aughghgh!!! I so know what you're going through!

Bethany is 11 months old and awakens about every hour. She was recently diagnosed with GERD, so I feel extra guilty about not running to calm her. Same thing--she'll go back to sleep after being rocked/held, but will awaken from the depths of sleep as soon as she touches the crib mattress. She's been awakening every 1-2 hours since birth. I am a walking zombie. I tried the cry-it-out thing a couple of times and, like you, it ripped out my heart and I couldn't keep it up, esp. since she, like Zac, was also very cranky/woke up crying during naptime, etc. after doing this.

I am starting to try this with again with Bethany, as I just can't stand being so sleep deprived anymore (aside from the fact that she's almost a year old and can't go back to sleep on her own!). I have to tell myself over and over that it is more cruel to allow her to interrupt her sleep than it is to teach her to go to sleep herself by crying it out.

You're wise to get out of the house while he's crying. In my case, I pop a Benadryl (to knock me out) and let dh listen to make sure nothing terrible happens.

I'm sending really big hugs your way--this is NO FUN!

You're wise to get out of the house while he's crying. In my case, I pop a Benadryl (to knock me out) and let dh listen to make sure nothing terrible happens.
YOU SAID IT
unfortunately I have to listen to it the whole time, as DH has "to work in the morning" as he always reminds me. :roll:
So I go through the torture w/him (zac), just not in the same room. SOO annoying...of course I throw out a few profanities to myself here and there...."mother #!$%#*....son of a bleep bleep bleep"...you get my drift....these are just whispers to myself, kinda letting it out in the pillow! :lol:

Oh, Sara, I feel for you!!!

Nathan goes through cycles of the SAME thing, and it started around Zac's age. Separation anxiety starts right around 7 or 8 mos, and explains crying at night but being comforted in your arms.

Please please please don't feel bad about trying different things, Sara! You know your kiddo best, and it is so clear that you love him to pieces. :D

This is what we did/do. If he wakes crying, I give it a couple minutes. A lot of the time, he will calm on his own. If he still cries (and it is not just a mantra, whiny cry), I go in and pick him up. The SECOND he calms, I put him back down. If he cries again, I pick him up again, but lay him back down as soon as he is calm. At first, it took 20 minutes of this to get him to finally fall asleep. But now, it just takes a minute or so.

Sometimes it helps to repeat whatever bedtime routine you have for him. Like if you rub a little lotion on him before bedtime, it can help to do that again when he wakes. It just signals to him that it is sleep time, and that he is okay.

Hang in there, Sara! Things will get better. I promise it is just a phase that may pop back in through the next months, but won't last forever.

{{{HUGS}}}

Sometimes it helps to repeat whatever bedtime routine you have for him. Like if you rub a little lotion on him before bedtime, it can help to do that again when he wakes. It just signals to him that it is sleep time, and that he is okay.

i thought about that at 3am! was thinking to give another bath!! :shock:

i thought about that at 3am! was thinking to give another bath!!:shock:

That wouldn't be too convenient, huh? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Yeah, so after I gave you advice on Zac, Bethany pulled a doozy last night!

BTW--My DH pulls the "I have to work in the morning" bit, which, to some extent, I do understand; however, my job NEVER ENDS!!! :evil:

So Bethany has recently been doing this thing wherein she awakens at night and stays awake for a few hours (this, along with the crying every hour all night long). DH informed me last night that the cry-it-out routine is not working for him, as her crying keeps him from getting his best sleep. He is also concerned that perhaps Bethany is crying so much b/c of her GERD (I don't think so, as she now calms once we pick her up--thank you Prevacid!) *lol* I told him that I am happy to try something else, such as the advice given in a book called the No Cry Sleep Solution. He agreed we should try it.
Fast forward to 2am this morning...Bethany started in (yet again), so I went and got DH and asked him to help me. I went back to bed while he stayed up with her for the next 2.5 hours! He has been complaining already this morning that he is tired, etc. (he got up once, I took all the other wake-ups!) Look, he doesn't have to go to work this morning and I want him to see that NONE of these sleep options are easy!

I think we probably have pretty good husbands, but sometimes they need a reality check.

How was your night? Anyone need a hug? :lol:

UHhhhh .... I have to get up for work in the morning. dh is an unemployed teacher (through no fault of is own, and he starts working again in January) so he's been totally off since the beginning of June. I can count the number of times he's gotten up with Catherine on one hand. "But she responds so much better to you ..." Uh-huh.

He's been out of town since Wednesday. It gives me some small measure of satisfaction to know that she will cry when she sees him again on Monday. Ha!

Oh you've gotten me started!! Dh has never ever ever ever gotten up w/him in the middle of the night. Actually the very first night of zac's life in this world he held him for an hour at midnight so i could actually sleep. THATS IT!!!!!!!!! He pulls the "oh but he's better with you" crap, too. And I hate it when he complains how "tired" he is. It's like...YOU'RE TIRED??? Oh don't get me started. LoL. Then he insists about the weekends that that is his "only chance to relax" after stressfull week at work. Well "I don't get a weekend!" That was our recent argument. Granted, he helps out a lot more when he can...but the nights? FORGET IT. Never.

hmph! Well...on a lighter note....we had a pretty good night last night. He seems better today also. Yesterday he was a devil. He went down usual time and I was on pins and needles for two hours waiting for that cry. Didn't happen. I usually go in before I go down to sleep to check on him and reposition him if neccessary...not last night! Didn't want to take the chance so I just peeked in to see his chest rising and falling, that was it. Anyhow he did wake up a bit whiny at 4am...but went right back down. He was awake at his normal 615 and drank some milk and went back down for about 40 min. SOO other than that 4am break, we were normal last night. My mother insists he had something bothering him and I should not have let him cry the night before. But when you try everything you can (diaper check, medicine, comfort) and nothing keeps them down in their cribs, you just give up. Anyhow hoping tonight we go as planned. It sucks when you worry about how their nights going to go and are nervouse about what "tonight will bring". I've been taking for granted that I know I will get a good solid 7 to 8 hours (after going to bed two hours after zac). I sometimes complain about the 5 or 6am wake up but then I look at you two's situation and thank my lucky stars. <SIGH> Anyhow...thanks again! :smt023

OH YES...has this happend to any of you?....

When we went through HELLISH nights with Zac as a newborn we tried EVERYTHING possible to get him to sleep. He was up and down alll night long. We had the swing in our room and bouncy and just kept rotating every wakeup to try a diff. thing. Well the swing had this one setting of "crickets and night noises" that we kept it on to get him to sleep. The bouncy had it's own melody aswell. Well...yesterday I had him in his swing for something new/fun....I was playign w/the music settings and that cricket one came on....It brought back that HORRIBLE feeling!!! OHHH terrible terrible memories!LOL!! I was like "Make it stop!!!" :lol: I'm telling you he did NOT sleep at all until about 2 months (after zantac!). I'd get him down and w/in 20 min he was up screaming. OOOH the memories...the horrid memories... haha ...I also hit the bouncy button last night on that tune, and same flashbacks! :shock:
NOTHING compares to those first few weeks of hell!!
Has anything (noise, music, smells) triggered any of your bad babytime memories???

Oh, Sara! Sorry I just saw this thread....

I hope Zac is sleeping better for you....maybe it is his teeth?!?!?

This is what we did/do. If he wakes crying, I give it a couple minutes. A lot of the time, he will calm on his own. If he still cries (and it is not just a mantra, whiny cry), I go in and pick him up. The SECOND he calms, I put him back down. If he cries again, I pick him up again, but lay him back down as soon as he is calm. At first, it took 20 minutes of this to get him to finally fall asleep. But now, it just takes a minute or so.

We do the same thing....it's called Pick Up/Put Down Method from Elizabeth Pantley....is that what you use, Sheila?

I love it...Emma had trouble in the beginning...it took a good 45 minutes for it to work. Now, I just go in....cuddle for a sec until she calms and then lay her down and she goes back to sleep. Sometimes, it even works if I just pick her up about 2 inches off the crib mattress and lay her back down. She "thinks" I just picked her up...and I really didn't. :lol:

Good luck, Sara. Keep us posted. :D

She "thinks" I just picked her up...and I really didn't. :lol:

LOL amanda...actually I use to do that w/zac. Then I just didn't need to anymore. I did do that at 4am last night. Just picked him up rocked him until he was just about out...but when I lied him down he was still awake but calm. I knew because he likes to scratch the sheets on his matress when he's sleepy. LOL! He started scratching so I figured I was okay. Once was it. I think that's a good method, too. I just know that now he will get furious w/me for picking him up and putting him back down...but it shouldn't take long. Like I said, I just have to deal w/whatever amount of torture it is so that in the long run it'll be better for both of us!

At 4am I was just so tired adn didn't want to hear the crying so I went and picked him up for a few...which IS EXACTLY MY PROBLEM!! :doh:
And the sad thing is, I KNOW IT. I do also know that even if I'm putting him to sleep or half asleep by holding...MOST of the time when he wakes before 5 or 6 he does go back to sleep by himself. As a matter of fact, I think I heard him last night between 4 and 6 but he never actually needed me. These rascals are so confusing!

Poor Sara. I bet your exhausted. Even if I did have advice, I wouldn't listen to me since my Noah has NO sleeping skills. He's really smart, I'm sure he would have caught on, but I never gave him the opportunity. We're just now working on it...not going well.

Anyways, just wanted to chime in about the pickup/putdown method. Sounds like a good idea. Is that in a book or something?

We do the same thing....it's called Pick Up/Put Down Method from Elizabeth Pantley....is that what you use, Sheila?

SO funny! It is called Pick Up/Put Down, but it was from a book called The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems (all but reflux :wink: ). It is my baby sleep bible - whenever I don't know how to handle a sleep issue, I flip it open and get new ideas. So sad that I need a book to get by... :?

Thanks Sheila! Its not sad that you need the book, you're just very resourceful! :D

Thanks, Maggie. :oops: Without my reflux message boards and my sleep book, I would be LOST!

We do the same thing....it's called Pick Up/Put Down Method from Elizabeth Pantley....is that what you use, Sheila?

SO funny! It is called Pick Up/Put Down, but it was from a book called The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems (all but reflux :wink: ).

Oops, you're right....Elizabeth Pantley calls it something else...comfort holding, I think...

But, it's the same thing. :oops:

Sorry to confuse anyone. :D

well...last night was pretty good. However, it is 830 and zac is up crying after 40 min of sleep. I put him down semi awake. He started crying, I picked him up for about a min and lied him down again w/no problem. He started crying w/in 30 sec. I picked him up again for a few min and lied him down. He then immediately started crying. So I just left him in there now and he's crying. He's not crying as hard as he did the other night when I did that. He actually sounds like he may quit soon. I HOPE!!!! :shock: <sigh>

well we cried for 20 mins...not bad...there were a few occassions where I really felt the urge to go "rescue" him...but i called a friend instead. HOPEFULLY we're out for the rest of the night

Well...tonight was even better...I put him to bed wide awake and he creid for about 6 minutes...so that's progress!! We went from an hour and a half, to twenty minutes, to 6 minutes! Maybe tomorrow will be less or NONE at all! I feel so bad I want to go get him but I know I'll be defeating the purpose.