I just got the call from the Child Developement Worker that the specialist review the tape of Hobbes. She wants him back in so they can test him for Austism(sp?)They feel that he is showing some signs of this. It is not severe but maybe be mild. They are going to have him come and be tested through play which an OT or sppech theraptist would seem if this the case or if he has a communication disorder whether it be expressive or what they can't say.
I am feeling a little scared for him and for my hubby. I know that if it is Autism then we will learn to help him to be able to develope or function. I didn't know how to explian things right now. I am overwhelm and have alot of thoughts in my head. Like how to explain to my DH that they want to test him for Austism or that there maybe some more than Speech delay with Hobbes. It is going to be hard for him to hear this. He feels like we have fail Hobbes as it is. I am praying that they are wrong on everything and that it is just a delay. But there are too many things that say it is not just a delay. One day at a time. anything to help Hobbes. Sorry for rattling on.

Shannon

:cry: and (((HUGS))) Shannon! I can understand how you would be overwhelmed! If you need to chat, just let me know. I'm here.

On a happier note, I love your new avatar and sig. photo. What cute kids! :P

Wow, bummer ((((HUGS))))!! I hope everything works out ok, it sounds like you have a pretty good handle on it though, hopefully you can break it to your DH easily...and just b/c they are testing him doesn't mean he has it right?

No, testing doesn't mean that he has it, it is to see if he does ans/or to rule it out completely. I just got the appointment for the test and it is for Monday but to get the result of the test, it maybe be a long time. It took 2 months for the specialist to reveiw the tape done here at home. Our Child Developement Worker did just said that if DH has question then she woud ask permission to see us at night to talk to him since he can't be home through the day to talk. She also promise to push the specialist to make sure we can get the answers soon than later.

As for the happier note, thanks, I think that they are cute too. :lol: :D

Shannon

What kind of testing will they do, Shannon? Is it blood work? That's great that the child dev't worker is willing to come speak with your dh after hours. I hope she gets the permission from her supervisor! Please keep us updated! Have you already added the appt. to the calendar so that we can remember you guys that day and wish you well? :P

It is a test where they just watch him play. So it is not a bad test anyway. I just told my Dh about the testing and how they are checking to see if Hobbes has autism. He seems to be okay but he is at work so we will talk more later. The CDW is great. I didn't like her at first but she is amazing and is really supportive of us. It has been added to the calendar. It will be a busy day for us. We also have Zoee's Dentist/ Tongue appointment. The appointment is to see if she is going to have her tongue which is tongue tied clipped. Sorry off topic.

Shannon

Wow, Shannon... Just keep us posted... Your kids are sooo cute!!!!!

Thanks Erin! I have to say that they know tha tthey are cute too. Hobbes is really a charmer with the girls already.Zoee knows how to give the biggest smiles. It is cute.

Shannon

Hi Shannon -- I saw your news earlier but didn't have a chance to respond at the moment. So I'm glad you've already broken the news to DH. (((HUGS))) to you all -- especially your cute, charming kiddos! It's also good that the test is soon -- you have enough time to do a little research and make a list of questions without having too much time to worry excessively. Now I just hope they give you some answers right away! It's so frustrating that you waited two months to get to this point.

Hi Shannon.....

Thinking of you....how difficult a time this must be for you now. A saying came to mind that says "God will never give you more than you can handle".

So sad that DH feels that you have failed Hobbes. I doubt that very much, there are just so many things that are out of our control.

Best wishes
Jean

The update on Hobbes......
We did take Hobbes to for his test yesterday. I was told that it was sticky when it came to transition for him as well as smiling, looking and laughing when not being touched. Then I was told that we would hear from Dr. Longstaffe(Child Developement Specialist) in about two weeks. Well, She didn't wait two weeks, she just called. My Mommy's gut feeling was right. Hobbes does have a mild form of autism. She did say very mild so I guess that is the good news that we may be able to get it to the point where as she said no one would know that he is even slightly austic. She wants to see us to discuss on how we can help him now before it gets any further as well as to explain a little more. Well, i guess now we can find start working to help Hobbes, now that we know what the problem is.

I know that God only gives you what you can handled but I think that my hands are overflowing right now. Did you think that I can ask him to lighten the load? :) :( Sorry I have a 30 second down moment. :oops:

Shannon

Oh my goodness, (((HUGS)))!!!! I actually have a friend who has a little girl with reflux and a son with autism, I will try to see if I can get her to contact you, or pop in here to chat if you want.

Hi Shannon:

I am sure you will find the strength to deal with what you have to. I think it is a blessing to find out soon and be able to start working towards helping Hobbes.

Years ago no one knew the things to watch for. I met someone recently that is about 45 and they are dyslexic; only no one ever told him that, so he has gone his entire life feeling stupid b/c he can hardly read or write....so sad. He just tells everyone he forgot his glasses.

So at least now you know what is wrong you can cope better.

Best wishes, BTW....I'll ask him to lighten your load also!

I am glad you can now get started on helping him, this is good news even if it doesnt seem like it because now you can help and know what the problem is, it still doesnt make it any easier does it?

{{{Shannon and Hobbes}}} also one to {{{Zoee}}}

I am sorry that he has autism, but I am so happy that the prognosis at this very early stage is so positive! Although it is so rough for you right now and you question your strength you are very strong as far as I can see. After all, you had the strength to recognize something was wrong and get a diagnosis. You will have the strength to help him, also. Just remember to treat yourself well, too. You deserve it.

I only have experience with the symptoms Walker presented with and still has for autism. It would be great if Roni can link you up with someone to give you some guidence.

Wishing you all the best and praying for a lighter load for you,

Leigh

(((HUGS))) Shannon! I'm glad for you that you have such an early diagnosis, that it's a very mild form of autism, and that there is so much help available for you and Hobbes! I'll pray that your load will be lessened.

Thanks everyone! I know that there is help out there for him but is there for Dh? I think that I am going to need the strenght for hi as well. :( He didn't take the news to well last new. He has told me that I am to tell no one about Hobbes having a very mild autism especially not his parents. He believes that we are bad parents and that is why Hobbes has autism. I am to only talk to him about Hobbes. :banghead: I can't get him to realize that it was nothing that we didn't do(He thinks that we should have condition Hobbes better) or did do. It was not because Zoee was born and I was away from Hobbes to help Zoee. Please send some strenght my way to help me with my DH. :D :lol: I am hoping today to have the appointment date of when we can see the Specialist to explain more to us what Hobbes' bountaries are and what help there is for him.


Shannon

Oh, Shannon! {{{Shannon}}}

It is nothing that you did or did not do that "made" Hobbes autistic, he just is. You cannot prevent autism any more than you could prevent a child from having cystic fibrosis. Would the specialist or Doctor be able to talk to him shortly over this? I have heard of parents who have a diagnosis like autism feel embarrassed and guilty, so maybe that is the problem. He just has to realize that no one is at fault.

Hobbes' grandparents (or anyone else who deals with Hobbes) should know about the diagnosis in order to be better equipped to deal with any special needs and to provide some support for you and DH. Hobbes deserves the best and he is not going to get the understanding and help from others if they only have a portion of the pie.

Truly, you and Hobbes need support (and DH and Zoee, too) so keeping this to yourselves is not the best thing to do. I hope that once the shock is wearing off that he will be able to see past his own feelings and realize that there is help out there and that it does NOT reflect poor parenting skills to take advantage of the help.


Leigh

Oh Shannon,
I dont even know what to say about your hubby. I will try to be positive and just say we should pray for him and maybe you can inform him about things so he can get a better understanding and feel better about being open about it to others. It seems to me a very strange reaction and it makes me wonder why he feels so strongly that way? Your all in my thoughts, I cant imagine how difficult this is for you.

Thanks for the support and the strenght. I think that my DH is feeling guilty as well as helpful. Hobbes is a very much a daddy's boy. i think that he maybe worried that people will label him and think that Hobbes is stupid.(sorry I hate to say it like that :( ) He knows how hard it was for me when I was put in a special Ed class in grade school b/c I had a learning problem. I get why he doesn't want his parents to know and maybe his friends b/c they all look down on us now for having two children who have health problems.I feel the same way that people are looking at us and going What did they do? What type of parents are they that they have two kids with problems? MyILs will probably not believe the diagnose and say that the specialist is wrong and that Hobbes is just being a normal two-three year old who is in the terrible two stage and leave him alone to be a little boy.
I am going to wait till monday and then call the specialist back for an appointment. The child Developement Worker that help get Hobbes diagnosed has given me two very good wbsites that may help Dh as well as told me that there are semiars that we can go to as well. Sowe will see if that will helphim.


Shannon

(((HUGS))) Shannon! I hope that your dh will come around to accepting the diagnosis. It must be so hard for you to see him grieving in such a different way than you are. I remember well from other things you've said about your inlaws being unsupportive, so I can see why he's feeling so uncomfortable telling them. I hope that he finds the websites informative and that the specialist is able to help him through what he's feeling.

Thanks Janette. It is hard for me to see him grieved and him not even really talking to me about it. I am glad that I have the support here not just for Zoee and her reflux but for Hobbes'speech and autism as well.


Shannon

I, too, am glad to have more than just the reflux support here, especially now that Evan is older and dealing with still more issues. So thanks to you, too!

Just curious for an update, Shannon. Is DH taking it better?

I did not know about the lack of support from your inlaws, so I am sorry that I posted that they need to know. Sometimes I find friends are invaluable for support, so I hope that you at least have some help there!

We are doing it alone mainly, but my DH has an aunt that is incredible. She is always on the go, but when she is called or thinks that she can help she does. Everyone should have an aunt like her. Sometimes I wish I could ask her for more help, but it is great just to know that she is there if we need her.

Leigh

{{Hugs}}

Hi Shannon -- I'm glad Hobbes' autism is so mild and that you finally have a diagnosis you can start addressing. I'm so sorry to hear that your DH is not handling this at all. I definitely think you should share this with whoever you feel comfortable with. When we first found out Daniel was going to have a cleft lip and palate (I was about 20 weeks along), I felt so guilty and ashamed, as if I'd done something wrong. At first DH and I could hardly talk about it with one another, but then we began telling people and it just became a part of Daniel. And it meant we were going to have to acquire some special skills for feeding him and deal with some questions (sometimes quite rude), but he was a boy and this is part of what made him special.

Hugs to you all....

An update....My Dh is handling it better then I really gave him credit for. I guess that i didn't tell him clearly. He didn't relaize that it was a diagnose. He says thathe will probably tell his parents when he knows more from the doctor which I am calling tommorrow to see when we can talk about his autism. He thought that I said slightly autism but I think that it was a miscommunication between us. He is doing better. We just started tot alk about it yesterday. I have to admit that it did hit me on Friday that even though it is mild, Hobbes is autisic and He will /may have problems that will take sometime to work through. I know that it will help to talk to the doctor about all of this.
Leigh, as to friends, No, thye would be the worse. They are backing away from us now b/c of the kids having health problem or Special needs. Again, I know that hey wonder what we did. Or if there is something gentically wrong with DH and I. My own brother asked me yesterday,(I have not told Him yet either b/c of how he can be) when are we putting Hobbes on runalyn(sp) the med for ADHA (I think)"HIGH ENERGY " children. I just said you would be fruastrated if you could not talk either so leave him alone. So I know there will be no support there. BUt I have all of you and that is a BIG help to me! :D

shannon

I'm glad to hear that your dh is handling things better than you thought! I know how much you need his support and understanding through this all!

It's really sad that some so-called friends just back off when there's a child with special needs. Incidentally, I just posted about that last week in regards to my neighbours. I hope that you'll soon find some new friends who will come along side you and support you and love your kids for who they are. It's some of the new friends that we've made in the last few years who have made all the difference with their loving, unconditional friendship. I hope that you'll soon find some friends like that in W. A church or a play group may be a good place to start.

I can hardly believe that your brother thinks that Ritalin (sp?) will solve all of Hobbes present difficulties! You had a great response for him!!!

I started a play group with him but he doesn't play with them. The paly group is with his godmother as well who is myDH's best friend's wife. So it is not a great situation. I didn't feel that I am making any friends there because of her but I am going b/c it is literally right across from my house in the church that is across the street. So it works for me and the kids for now.

As for my brother, He doesn't understand anything.He will be a hard one to tell as well when we start to which we are going to do after we see the doctor and learn more information on how to help Hobbes. He thinks that he knows everything. He is anyone that I would like to :smt021.


Shannon

Gee Shannon. Your brother and mine sound so much alike. My brothers thinks they know everything, including about raising kids, and neither of them have any. One of them is adopting in a couple of weeks, so he's in for a real shocker. I forgot to mentioned last night (and already had the computer shut down for the night when I thought about it), but we had a lot of people our age react the same way as they are to you guys. I often wonder if it's b/c they really don't know what to say and are just a bit of afraid of anything that or anyone who is a bit different. Anyway, we learned that we're better off without that kind of "friends". It took a while, but we were able to move on and make new friends, and hope that will happen to you soon, too.

we are that point as well but it is hard with two of the friends that at my Dh b/c they are godparents to Hobbes. So you would think that they would not back away. Oh well, I guess that they are worried that their child catch it. :roll:


Shannon

I guess that they are worried that their child catch it. :roll:
(((HUGS!)))

Thanks Janette. We have the appointment to talk more about his autism with the Child developement specialist. It is May 16 @3pm. It is on the calendar.

Shannon

It is May 16 @3pm. It is on the calendar.
lol...You just knew that someone around here would ask that... :P

Dear Shannon...
I don't know how I totally missed this entire thread but I did and I am so sorry I couldn't lend you support earlier :oops:
(((HUGS))) You are going through so much and it must be very hard and trying for you. I think that as parents, all we want is the best for our kids. Janette said it so truly... when something is not quite right or we have to face anything out of the ordinary we grieve... we grieve for what may have or could have been. But once you have acceptance you move forward. I think you should be open and honest with people, once you are comfortable with it yourself, as you will be amazed at the amount of people going through similiar things. I know when we had to start IVF (and that was 4 long years of it) when I was able to cope with telling other people I was totally amazed at how many people were going through the same thing or had close relatives/friends who were. ANd the support was great. Of course, you always get the negative ones and those who just don't understand. We lost family over our quest to be parents as they thought we should be "happy with our lot in life" and not do the IVF. They thought we were "obsessed" with becoming parents... in reality in those 4 years, we only had 4 opportunities to get pregnant.. and of course these family members had children/ could get prg at the drop of a hat.
Make sure you get hooked in with all the things you can to help Hobbes and also to get support for yourself and your DH. I am thinking of you and hoping that things go well with your appointment. Make sure you get some written material if you can...it is so easy to forget to ask things and also, often, it is all so overwhelming that you forget what has been said.
(((HUGS)))) Shannon and family
xxxxxxx

Sarah,
Thank you for your support! I am not sure that our friends would be support and that is okay. I think that we are starting to realize that if these "friends" can understand and support not so much us but Hobbes then I didn't want them around to be a negative feeling around him or us. Friends are people that support you and make you feel better about yourself or things are are going wrong. If they can't be supportive then They are not Friends. Sorry I ened up venting there. :oops: I have beening thinking to much about people's opinion of us lately. Now I am just going to focus on Hobbes and this appointment and gettting the help that we all need. On hte good note, His service worker and Child developement worker are going to be with us to hear what he specialist is going to say. So that will help to explain anything that i can't understand.

Sarah, I am glad that you and your Dh didn't listen to family members and were able to become parents. You are a great mom!

Shannon

YOu know what Shannon, you are so right about friends- they are meant to be there for the good and the bad. Otherwise they aren't really friends. You soon discover those you can rely and those you can't. Even family are a bit like that.... ho hum...
Thanks, I hope I'm being a good Mum..and you're pretty good at this job yourself! :lol: