:sad5: ...ummmm, and I sure hope things get better!

So you know about the trip to IN (I did tell you all about the barfing incident at Wendy's and Dan getting to drive the "fun" car, right?). We moved in to our apartment on Saturday and the wind chill was -15. Yes, that was a minus in front of the 15... YIKES! The apartment complex is very nice and our apartment is spacious (as apartments go, anyway). However, there have been a few glitches already. The dryer isn't working, our keys don't unlock the doors and the neighbors upstairs are, um, obnoxious young women who are prone to (loud) fits of giggles late at night and apparently like to clomp around in high heels at all hours. They also have a yippy dog. Oh, how I long for my private home...

I'm still waiting for a maintenance person to get here to fix the dryer, get us a new set of keys and fix the pesky beeping smoke alarm in the garage (thank GOD we have an attached garage on this apartment, as it's the only way we can get in and out!). We put in a work order on Saturday...today is Tuesday...and we're not allowed to mess with the smoke alarm for some reason. Beep. Beep. Beep. ACK!

So Adam started school yesterday. His therapists are really great and I like them a lot. His little room is cute and I helped decorate/move all his stuff in to make it home-y. Of course, he didn't seem to notice and ended up doing the usual thing--merely walking off with whomever would take him. It tore my heart into a million little pieces when he didn't even look back at Dan & me when we left. I know, it's better than a tantrum, but I'm just waiting for the day he takes notice of us and seeks us out. :sad5: It was so hard walking into that center yesterday. I don't know why--it's not a surprise that he has ASD...I think it's just that the reality of everything set in--that he needs this kind of help, that I'm going to be away from Dan, that Indiana is really freaking COLD. *sorry--had to inject some humor, hehehe*

Today we battled a snowstorm and wind to get him to the center. Our normally 15-minute-drive turned into a 1-hour ordeal. Bethany keeps complaining that it's "too cold" here and keeps asking when we're going back home. Ugh. Dan left yesterday for NJ and I nearly clung to his bumper as he maneuvered out of the parking lot. Um, I cried an awful lot yesterday. :oops:

I'm not sure how much of this is making sense. I'm really tired and a wee bit emotional (between Adam waking up for the day at 4 am after being up half the night and me missing Dan/dealing with B's constant whining & tantrums...and this freaking below zero weather, I'm spent).

I'll be back with more later. :-)
.

Mary, the day is coming. I felt so much when I read about Adam wandering off without noticing you, etc. Iain pretty much always noticed when it was 'not the Mommy', but never greeted me, etc. Now, I get a "Goodbye, Mommy" and a big smile with a genuinely happy "Hello, Mommy!" every single day. You will not believe what this will do to you. I see kids every day at IBI who are all at different levels of the spectrum and ALL of them do some sort of greeting to their parents, even the non-verbal ones.

I have HUGE update brewing on IBI and hope that it will shed some light on what you and Adam may be headed for. IBI has changed Iain's life. As a result, it has changed ours, too, and that of the boys. It is so very worth it. And the time is perfect for all of us.

Looking forward to hearing great things. I am a HUGE fan of this treatment now. So much so that I just signed Iain up to be part of a study on it.

Settle in, put your feet up and relax a bit. :hug:

Hugs Mary....
This has to be so hard on all of you....I can't even imagine. I wish there were words to make this less painful....I suppose after some adjustment....ok a lot of adjustment...it will be a little more bareable. I look forward to reading how this lifes journey will be worth the sacrifices you all make along the way.....those small things we take for granted, like saying or even waving goodbye....when those things finally do happen, you will then know how worth it- it all is. My little 3 year old Jayden bugger just tonight ran up to me and said "hi "and waved a little pagent wave to me...the whole time a very serious look on his face as he controlled that wave then a quick look up at me and a smile.....then he was off......................:smt036 This was a first.......firsts are so beautiful..... Things take extra help and time with our kids but it's in there....sometimes we just have to be really patient and wait:hug:
I am sorry this is so painful Mary:hug:

Whew Mary, your strength always amazes me! I hope Debbie and Leigh are right and that soon Adam starts singling you out and noticing when you're not around. The opposite extreme (Sam crying until he vomited twice in the first week or two when I dropped him off at playschool) seems more bearable when I see it from your perspective.:hug: Thinking of you and wishing I could send you some warm South African sun.

Praying the worst is over, Mary! :hug:

:hug:I hope things start to get better soon. I hated apartment living, there was always someone making me crazy. I am sure once you start seeing Adam improve it will all be worth it, not easy, but at least worth it.:hug:

If it makes you feel any better - it is really cold here on the east coast - and my car was all dusty with snow this morning.

Hmmmm.....You made the right decision - you know you did, we all know you did. I know that soon, you will be posting about Adam's progress, how B has settled in, and your normal sense of crazy will return. :smt036 :hug:

In the meantime - hang in there - and remember, to prevent your nostrils from freezing together, breath thru your mouth (only after you lips have been slathered with chapstick!) :evil4:

Mary- you are such an awesome mom for doing this!! I'm really looking forward to hearing how things go for Adam- this seems like such a great choice for him...

BTW, I went for my morning walk today and it was FOUR degrees outside. HOWEVER, there's supposed to be a warm front moving into the midwest for the next week...tomorrow's high is supposed to be 67, then up into the low 70's over the weekend. :smt036 Isn't Indiana considered part of the upper midwest?? :hug:

:hug: I can't imagine how hard this is on you!