I went to dinner with some friends of mine that I haven't seen in about 8 months. They have a little boy who is only 2 weeks older than Denver. I left Denver with a sitter to go to dinner not knowing that their son would be with them. Their son is almost 24lbs, has 8 teeth, and eats ANYTHING put in front of him. He was even eating pieces of fresh lemon out of their water glasses. He says four distinct words, holds his own bottle, drinks real milk readily, and is walking too!
I was so proud of Denver on Tuesday when we went to the doctor's office and he weighed 19lb 10oz and was 12th percentile, but compared to Anthony it just isn't good enough. Denver has no teeth, doesn't eat table food (except for a very few exceptions to the rule), says no words consistently, still doesn't hold his own bottle, just started today trying milk, and doesn't walk:sad5:.
I know I shouldn't compare Denver to other kids his age because he has had his share of setbacks, but I do anyway. I feel like his poor weight, appetite, motor skills, etc are a reflection of me and that people will think that his deficits are because I'm a crappy mom:sad3:. I was glad that Denver wasn't at dinner tonight because I'm a bit embarrassed :oops:about his slow progress compared to other kids his age. I love my son to pieces, I just want him to be the 50th percentile kid, early walker, early talker, wonder kid KWIM? He is perfect in his own way. I just hate it that I can't seem to stop myself from comparing him to others. Not fair to Denver:oops:.

BTW, I know that Denver's issues pale in comparison to many of the other kid's problems here on the board. It's okay to tell me I'm being a big whiney baby about this.

the worst thing you can do is compare him with others, I had to remind myself not to compare Alexis to what Dylan was doing at her age.... Alexis didn't walk till 22 mos some are just later walkers once she did she was running... Alexis is 26 mos and weighs 22 lbs and dropped from 3rd % to2nd % he is bigger than she was at his age...as for Dylan he walked at 10 mos was counting to 5 at 1 yrs... said big words at 2 like air conditioner... Alexis cannot....kids move at there own pace sometimes...Daycare has tremendiosly helped Alexis catch up...i believe i read your to keep denver away from kids because of illness though...

:hug:s...It is hard! I know - every day I blame myself for Madaline's lack to speech. I question if we talk to her enough, do we read to her enough, do we encourage to her speak & ask for things - you know? Then, at the end of the day, when she looks at me, with her big, bright blue eyes, and says, "Mama", it doesn't really matter. I have to force myself to take comfort in the things she CAN do, and to remind myself of where we were and where are now. KWIM? She went from being a full fledged screaming banshee, that hardly ever slept, to a sweet little girl brimming with curiosity and excitement.

It is hard not to compare, and I won't tell you not to do it - because, even after 18 months, I still do. It is a natural human reaction. I look at other children and see how small Madaline is or see other children that are speaking and I can't help but feel the green eyed monster of envy come alive. But, I have found that if I force myself to take a deep breath and step back - I realize that there is no need for it. And, I guess my only advice to you would be to do the same. Take a step back and take a deep breath. All the things that he is behind on, will all come to together eventually. It will happen - he will catch up - in his own time, and at his own speed. :hug:

8 theeth huh? Well at 13 months Ms.Bea has 6. . . 4 of which appeard in the last month. They all get them at diffrent times at there own pace. Teeth are over rated, once they have them they can bite you (she got my neck this AM). Walking? I had 1 early walker and one who will probably not walk till between 18months and 2 years. But honestly even with my own kids I feel like its not worth comparing because they each have their own strengths. They are diffrent people, they have diffrent needs, they are developing in their own way ! And even at this young age they have diffrent goles. I know that sounds funny, but at this age Theo was all about wanting to walk, wanting to be up and DOING. Beatrice is happy as long as she can get across the room to harras her brother. Her goles invove tasting every object found. Silly huh? But true. And Theodore has a speech delay, but my pediatrician says all the time "ya never know, he may be the next Jack Kennedy . . . Keep up with Therapy" She is right, we have NO idea what these kids can be, some are slow out of the gate but will be great achivers. Others may be quick out of the gate but average kids. And still others may have limited potentals in one way or another no mater where they start.

I know its hard not to comepare and its hard not to be sad when you feel your child is falling behind. But so much of what you are experencing is normal! :) Ohh and Denver weighs more than Beatrice who if I remember D's birthday right is a month or 2 older ;)

hugs hun,

Its so hard not to compare your own child to others its only natural but i will give you a tip that helps me ( most part) when you feel your self gettng upset when you compare him to other kids, Instead have a think and compare Denver now to Denvor 6 months ago and as he gets older compare him to then then 12 months ago etc, It will remnd you how far her has come in hos OWN standards KWIM

im not saying dont compare him dont complain by any means as I know how frustrating it is to have a child that cant do things others can but Im being completely honest with you when i say compare him to him a few months ago and if he has improved and picked up new skils or has made any improvement at all be it eating behaviuor speach growth crawling, sitting up better what ever it may be if he has made progres then is a good day, And you can be just as proud of that then him doing things that others kids are or are not

I used to hate catch ups like that as well, but now I just don't care. It is funny having two kids seeing how entirely different they can be and you know what for most of them, they do it at their own pace and they get there in the end. Parker was late on everything, and now at 4, he is ahead of most his age. So hang in there, try not to compare (I know it is hard) and I also heard the longer they don't teeth for, the better their teeth are lol

I also heard the longer they don't teeth for, the better their teeth are lol

My ped and ped dentist had to remind me of that a few times, too. Brenna was slow with the teeth, but by 2, she was ahead of others her age when it came to teething. Amy gave you some great advice. Try to compare Denver to Denver. You will recognize the accomplishments and celebrate those. As for comparing to other kids, we all want our child to be the 50%ile, walker, talker. It's normal. It's also painful when our kid isn't doing something the others are. Don't think he's delayed because you're a bad mom. Denver had to overcome a LOT to get to where he is now. Celebrate that. And for all those moms who think you're not doing what you should be doing with those kids...TOUGH COOKIES! They just don't understand. BTW, I take secret delight in the fact that Brenna is smaller than other kids her age. Our 14 month old grandson weighs the same as Brenna. On the other hand, he has a heck of a time packing that weight around when he's trying to walk. Brenna on the other hand, doesn't need a new wardrobe every 3 months and she doesn't have the poor eating habits Ian is developing. Brenna would bulk up, too, if we only fed her Pan Pizza, Happy Meals, and Pepsi. I much prefer that she loves carrots and apples to snack on. It's all in perspective, Seleta.:hug:

Ditto to what everyone else said. I have a hard time not comparing- I'm always watching other people's kids to see what they're doing. Ugh. I think as moms we just can't help ourselves. But its true, they're all so different, even within the same family. Plus, just b/c some of these kids are outpacing everyone else at this age doesn't necessarily mean they will be continuing that route. For example, Emett is probably the brightest of our kids (don't tell them that I said that), but I swear to you, that kid is as lazy as the day is long!!! :hairpull: Even though he can read just fine, he would rather just look at the pictures in a book....he is always using his brain to figure out ways to get OUT of doing things instead of just doing them. I'm not sure what my point is here, but try not to compare, but forgive yourself when you do, b/c we all do it!

You guys are really great. I love that you understand what it's like. It makes all of this not be so lonely.

I thought of you today, Seleta!!

I took the kids to the pool, and there was this adorable little girl climbing all over the kiddie slide, splashing, playing, etc. Of course I felt compelled to find out how old she was.....she was fricking seventeen months old!!!! Meanwhile Helena is clinging to my leg repeating "Help.....me!" :haha: :sad5:

OK....so that is supposed to be my lame attempt to make you feel better....is it working?? :oops:

Vicki, you crack me up. And yes it was and is helpful to know that I'm not the only one comparing. I love the "help me" part. Poor Helena.

I remember doing that all the time with Connor and it use to get me so down. All the other kids his age were eating anything and everything and I was lucky if I could get him to chew a piece of cracker and then spit it back out again. He didn't get his first teeth until he was 10 months and then it took forever to get more and all my friends babies were so easy and happy and here was my screaming banchy! But you know what.....Now he has caught up with them all!!!! Sure he doesn't eat as great as them but he eats the toddler staples lol try not to be so hard on yourself! He will do things in his own time!:hug: :hug: :hug: