View Full Version : Off to the GI tomorrow... ever feel like it is a waste of time?!


Leigh
01-09-2008, 09:30 PM
I feel so awful, but I really do not want to go to Curran's GI appointment tomorrow morning. I feel it is going to be a colossal waste of time. :sad3:

It has been a long while since we last saw her and I have done so much on my own to get a handle on Curran. He has seen the allergist, as the GI office requested (and I might add MOVED our appointment back by 4 months until this was done, so this really, really, REALLY cheesed me off!) and nothing much has changed since then.

He still bloats. He still has pain. He still has malabsorption issues. He still eats like a horse and stays slim and goes skinny on a regular basis. It seems the more he eats, the thinner he gets at times. Weird. His poop is still uh, 'interesting'. He still gets sick a lot. He still gags and refluxes and pukes, but not as often as he used to. Or at least, maybe I am not seeing it as often as I used to. When Rachel was here, she saw him reflux more often than I did. :oops: He is also off his prevacid right now. I was told to have him off of it when he went to the GI. Hmmm... as he puked twice today, I think I may put him back on again since he gags and threatens to puke 100 times more than that in a day.

I just really do not know what to do. Really, his puking twice in a day is nothing. He used to puke a dozen or more times a day. As an infant and toddler, I could not keep track of how often as it was just 'always'. So, he is better in that regard and as he is not puking regularly as he did even a year ago, I am most grateful for that. Some of you may recall that I had to pull him from Junior Kindergarten as he was puking every day and I was being called to pick him up and not to send him until he was over his 'flu'. :banghead: He was also exploding out his bowels pretty much several times a day, too. He now runs like mad to the bathroom after eating. He is doing much better in that regard, too. His weight is good. He is slim, but good. He was skinny about a month ago, but got it back on again. It comes and it goes, but he is far from a worry for weight.

He does have signs of asthma now. I really do not know what to think of that as perhaps it is the untreated reflux which has caused this latest respiratory flare. I plan on starting a thread on that one as I am not sure what to think about it. It would not surprise me as Iain has asthma with the GERD connection.

He has so many allergies and intolerances for foodstuffs. I give in from time to time and let him eat normally which is food that has no allergens in it, but may contain sugars he is not normally allowed.

So, why am I going tomorrow? Really, what is she going to do or say to me?

We have had horrific GI issues with this kid for over 5 years now. Right now, he is at the best he has ever been.

Is this as good as it gets? Should I continue to pursue this? Really, what do I hope to gain? If I keep him on prevacid, he is better. We do much better sorting out his diet than they do. After the GI appointment, we are to stay at the clinic and see the dietician. Oh, joy. Last time I saw her all she did was give me suggestions of foodstuffs he was either allergic to or intolerant of to round out his diet. She ended up pretty much telling me 'good luck with that'. Great. She did nothing for us. And I suspect tomorrow will be much of the same. :sad3:

My curiosity is WHAT does the GI think it is? He has been tested over and over again for celiac. It ain't celiac. I tried a gluten free diet and the fruit sugars in that diet had him writhing on the ground in so much pain I could not give it more than I think 2 days for trial and it took forever to get him back on track. If it is Crohn's, why has it not shown up by now? EE and EGID has been ruled out as he was scoped upper and lower a year ago last September, so there is no need to look at that again, right? Either you have it or you do not as far as I know.

He has a diagnosis of 'functional bowel syndrome' which is a way of saying 'kiddie irritable bowel syndrome'. It is a great way to give a bigger name to 'I have not got a clue and just need a label here'. :angry7: He has no signs of 'disease' (like the difference between GER and GERD, IBS and IBD are ruled different by the damage or complications). His 9 year old cousin has been diagnosed with IBD and proctitis, but he is not her and it does not mean that is what he is heading for.

Functional bowel syndrome is crazy and difficult for me to swallow as the end result as his eosinophil count, IgE and SED rates are all so high. Something is going on. Clearly, it is not a 'functional' problem. Why can we not find out what it is?

Does he have to grow up more before whatever is underlying rears its ugly head? Are we keeping whatever it is at bay by being so in tune with him and keeping his diet regulated according to what he can tolerate at certain times?

Is he really that sick anymore? If I hear one more time how awful he looks with his black eyes and such, I do not know what I will do. He looks healthier than ever and yet I have had two people from school tell me how awful he looks and that they hope we get to the bottom of it soon. Yeah, it has only been 5 years, so any day now we should have our answer....:banghead:

Oh, I am in a fine mood, aren't I? I guess I am just venting for the sake of venting and did not truly realize how angry I am over this appointment.

what do I do? Go and listen, of course. I am there and that is what I will do. I may duck out before our dietician appointment, though. :smt036

Do I allow another scope? I really wonder what the purpose of that would be. He was scoped a year ago last September and apparently, it was clear. His lower was inconclusive and incomplete as we missed a step in the clean out process. :oops: Whoops. We prepared him for a sigmoidoscopy when she wanted to do the whole enchilada. We honestly did not know and no one clarified for us that it would be different for him from what Iain had done twice. :oops: :oops:

Regardless of that fiasco, she did obtain biopsies from the lower and ruled out thickened walls (as she thought he had) and there was no sign of anything else in the area she was able to scope.

As his poop is better than it was back then and we still have no signs of blood or damage, what purpose would a scope serve? Bill and I are scratching our heads over that.

Do we wait until he is much older? Do we wait until we see blood or damage? A biopsy will show nothing unless he is actively being affected by something or if she is very, very lucky and manages to get a biopsy the size of a pinhead from an area where there IS actually something showing up.

The last time I saw her, she said she would rescope him. I could not wait back then, but now I think I can. Am I nuts?

You are going to laugh, but what I am really most worried about is his reflux. Much moreso than his bowel issues. Funny how that has come about, but being off prevacid has given us loads of upper respiratory problems and loads of gagging, belching, and enough vomit that I think it is the begining. It ain't pretty to have a puking school ager. And yet as I say that all I can think of is how lucky we are as Shae Lynne pukes all the time.

I think he has more food allergies and that due to limited exposure he has not shown all he has yet. I think that they downplay his reflux as they want to find out what his bowel issues are and yet if they take care of his reflux, his quality of life will likely increase. If they increase his prevacid then I bet we will not have as many upper respiratory issues. I am willing to put money on that.

So, what do I do?

I am pretty darn sure that I am going to be brually honest with her tomorrow. I want to know what she thinks it is and to tell me what the long term gameplan is. If it is going to take years to develop, then cut us lose and I will find my way back when and if he ever starts to show damage. Maybe he is perfectly fine and if so, I would love to hear I am a neurotic Mother tomorrow.

I have at least 10 appointments I have to make for Iain and I am ignoring them all. I have no time. I have them literally circling and I just do not know where to start as I have OT, SLP, feeding therapy, behaviour services, the developmental ped, the social worker, some other behaviour services thingy, a screening of some sort, not to mention seeing his ENT and ped again, and the list goes on and on and on and on and... really, I just do not know how many I am ignoring right now as I am far too overwhelmed. I feel so bad as I know Iain needs it all, I just needed a break from it. :oops:

Maybe I am just sick and tired of the appointments? I was supposed to have Curran back to his allergist and it would likely be a really good idea to get him back to his ped and have him referred to an ENT (so I can wait a fricking year) and take care of what is likely a tonsil and adenoid problem. Not to mention I have OT fine motor skills stuff to do with him.

I just feel like I have no time to waste. And I see GI as a waste of time. If they were actually progressively doing SOMETHING, then alrighty then. As I think he has been tested for everything, what else is left? Honestly? Re-testing? Either you have a missing pancreatic enzyme or two or you don't. I do not see what else there is left to do except scope and do yet another celiac test and watch it come back negative. :banghead:

I can not believe I feel that way. Oddly, when I told Bill that he agreed somewhat. He does not know how I keep it all straight and was thinking it was holiday time for therapies as I was not running amok with the kids the last month. Um, no. :oops: He does not know what to do, either. I have no case to state as it is what it is tomorrow. I will go in with more recent poop pictures (yeah, I am doing it!) and I want her to tell me that they are normal. Even if she does not say they are, what are we going to do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. We have done plenty of that in the last 5 years already.

I would get better help with my ped regarding his reflux. My ped understands what we have been through and has seen it firsthand. I really think in our case we will be cut loose as of tomorrow and will be bounced back to the ped. And I will likely be relieved with that.

If you are still reading, thanks for listening to my rant. I can not believe how negative I am and really do wonder where it comes from. Bill just thinks I am hostile as we have not found out the answer yet and pretty much the majority of the gains have come from us researching and experimenting with Curran. Maybe so, maybe so.

I am going to type up my GI questions to address tomorrow now. And grab the dvd portable player for Curran so that it will not be so excruiating to be there for about 3 flipping hours. :sad3:

Anyone else feel like this? Like they lost their way?

sixdogssixcats
01-09-2008, 09:41 PM
Like I've lost my way? No. More like "it is what it is, and life goes on." Only speaking for myself here. :grouphug:

I don't know how you hold it together, Leigh. We decided long ago -- no more testing. It wouldn't change a thing we're already doing. While you're dealing with issues that are much more life-altering, I think the end result would be the same for you. You gain about as much from grasping at straws as you do from doing nothing and just waiting to see what happens.

Curran is much better now than he was even a short time ago. And this is all thanks to you and Bill. I don't think Curran's docs have helped him one bit. That's an exaggeration, of course, but his improvement isn't due to them ... it's due to you.

My two cents ... go go the GI expecting nothing. That way, you won't be disappointed when you leave with the same knowledge with which you arrived. If there's nothing more the GI can tell you or do for Curran, cut her loose. Go back to the ped whom you know has an interest in him and can help at least manage the symptoms.

I wish you peace of mind, my friend. There is no greater gift. :grouphug:

Vicki P
01-09-2008, 10:09 PM
Don't apologize for feeling that way. i haven't even spent five years doing this, and I'm already starting to feel that way. YOU are certainly entitled to rant all you want after all you've been through. Let's face it: this whole thing is hard and a pain and there's still a lot they (the doctors) don't understand about reflux, GERD, ,etc. (as i'm sure you know).

Hubby and I have a joke- it would be easy to be a gi doc treating dge (our particular issue), since you only have about four treatments to remember for the disorder. The standard line seems to be: "this is what's wrong, we've tried and failed the three meds that might help, so here's your feeding tube, and go practice eating. Hopefully she'll be able to eat normally sometime between now and first grade."

You deserve to vent...sometimes just talking (writing) it out is helpful-:hug:

scarlet
01-10-2008, 12:40 AM
Hmmmm well after reading all that I am confused too LOL No really I saw him and I really think you and Bill are getting a good grasp of foods he can and can't eat and what that does to his poop etc... I don't necessarily think the GI will be able to help you with this. It seems out of her league.

I think with the GI, you should go and expect nothing less than going back on prevacid, I just saw a lot of reflux and that could be causing the respiratory and asthma problems, with one small medicine you can get rid of a whole lot of problems KWIM? Then you can concentrate on the other.

Why did they want you off the meds anyway? I personally don't think he needs anymore testing unless it is for something specific or something that could put everything together, otherwise you have had the tests and got the results for the big ones you need.

Maybe you do just have to wait, I know it is horrible, but like his cousin, maybe it is something that will come out in time, or maybe it will get better and better with age, who knows.

I know what you mean about the whole doctor/therapy rigamorole, it is tough, I generally schedule appointments within a coulpe of weeks together and by the end I can not go on.

Good luck Leigh and let us know what she says.

Twins plus Two
01-10-2008, 06:40 AM
((((hugs))) I have been there... and only now do I have a little more hope - but if these tests reveal nothing next week I will be back to thinking "what's the point?" .

You know what I would do? I honestly think I would print out your post and take it to show your GI. Edit it if nec. but it is the best way to tell him/her how you are honestly feeling.

kate x

Minnie
01-10-2008, 08:02 AM
"Is this as good as it gets?"
Well
You all ready know I have felt this way Leigh. You answered back that you were feeling pretty much the same way. Hating it, but accepting that there may not be any answers any time soon. "In it for the long haul" I think is what you said.
But did I take that advice? Did I accept that maybe this is as good as it gets? NO (because of Rachel's pushy self LOL)
I listened to you and cried, and heard every word, and thanked God there was someone who understood.
I scheduled Eric back in with GI chaos. Do I think anything at all will come of it? No, I don't. Just different meds that give me a different set of symptoms to deal with for a change, but I still have just a glimmer of hope that MAYBE something will be found out. If I had had the scope before I probably wouldn't feel hopeful about it though.

because all the other repeat tests that have been ordered...well.... I have already dismissed as a waist of time and didn't even mention any of them to anyone (there's quite a list again LOL)
So I think I understand, but still 5 years, and lot's more bowel issues, intols/allergies and other symptoms that I don't have to deal with everyday, so I'm sure your feelings are like mine, times at least 500,000,000,000:hug:

Leigh let that doctor know how your feelings. Go ahead and give that ultimatum
If you don't know what wrong and have no ideas how to help my son feel better, then... leave us alone or send us to someone else that might have a clue! Cut me loose and call me crazy if you don't have any pieces to the puzzle to offer me (but don't forget that script for his prevacid first ;) )

No I don't think she'll call you crazy and send you on your way. BUt it may just make her think. It may just get her to discuss this case with her colleges (if she hasn't already). It may just put a fire under her. it might help Leigh.

Go, discuss, ask ALL your questions even the rhetorical ones. If she orders tests, ask why. PICK that woman's brain till she gets scabs!!!!

MadalinesMama
01-10-2008, 08:03 AM
:hug: is really all I have to offer here.....

Lena
01-10-2008, 10:26 AM
I'm in the mind set of this is just how it is.
I do understand though, Mag has a GI appointment today too and I'm thinking what's the point.

kimber
01-10-2008, 11:21 AM
I totally get it Leigh...TOTALLY
For a lot of the reasons you mentioned, Zach hasn't been to a GI in over a year

Update when u can on how things went

AllieandJacksProudMama
01-10-2008, 12:20 PM
Yes, all of the time.

If Allie didn't have a tube, we probably would never go anymore either. I feel like she's either way over everyone's heads, or this is "as good as it gets" as Minnie put it.

She's been through so much in the past 2 years, that I'm not really up to putting her through more tests either.

Sorry Leigh, all I can do is offer you a hug! :hug:

twinmom
01-10-2008, 01:39 PM
:hug:

twinmom
01-10-2008, 01:40 PM
:hug:

twinmom
01-10-2008, 01:42 PM
:hug:

alwaysangels97
01-10-2008, 03:26 PM
completely understandable for feeling that way. If Gabriel is still dealing with this at Curran's age, I'm going to sell him on ebay! We were "discharged" from CHOP after Gabe's follow up appt after the tubes. I still don't understand why. She gave us a years supply of prevacid and basically told us to have a nice life.. Well great, you put weight on him but now a year later off the tubes he is sitting at the same weight. So he has not gained a thing all year round. So our pulmonologist told us we really should see a GI being that he is still on meds. So I made the appt but I do not want to go. What good is he going to do?? But Gabe has his 2 1/2 year appt with his pead next month too and i'm sure he will send us too being that he hasn't gained anythign! So stressful. Hope you get something out of the GI. Poor Curan, its not fair for them to have to feel this way. :hug: Keep us posted.