Today we went to have our family picture done and I knew it would be a nightmare for several reasons. Mainly because Iain does NOT do well in new situations (but we drag his butt out anyway for exposure:smt036 ), and because there would be a lot of people around. I attempted to bribe and distract him during the session and it occured to me that no matter what I try, Iain will not be bribed usually. With my other kids I am not above bribing in situations when I need to, but usually they do listen. Iain has speech and language delay as well, so this makes things much, much more difficult.

Does anyone else who has a kid like this find that bribing or distraction actually works in any way? I try to distract and bribe in the morning for dressing and it still causes a shrieking fest, so often I am in the "just get the job done" mode.

Iain sounds like my Jessie. The things I have bribed with would make most parents frown. I have bribed for haircuts, portraits, trips into not-so-usual stores, anything.

With age she has gotten better, but there are just still some things that cost me. I couldn't get a portrait of her and James together until just recently. It took 18 months to get it done. She actually wanted to take the portrait because they had a Thomas the Train background. It also cost me a bribe of a new Thomas DVD if she would take a few extra portratis with her brother. The price I pay, but the pictures turned out beautiful.

I so understand where you are coming from. We also went through a significant speech loss and delay with Jessie and that just seems to make things worse (if possible). I am seeing things with James now that tells me we are headed down the same road with him. Just gotta love those sensory kids!

I say do whatever it takes to get the job done. I know most people would think you shouldn't have to bribe your child to get dressed or wear pajamas, but I have and may continue to do so in the future. Jessie wouldn't wear pajamas for the longest time... just ran around in underwear at night... but after a bribe of M&M's as a reward for wearing them, she finally got use to wearing them and we were all happy.

I also use the bribes of going outside to play, watching tv, playing with Daddy on the trampoline, etc. to get what I need from her. We have learned what works with her... and bribing is it. Hope this helps!

We got plenty of frowns today, but I do not care. They have NO idea what we go through with Iain on a daily basis and my other two are well behaved, so you would think they would realize something is up with Iain.:sad3:

It is good to know bribing might eventually work, as it is sorely dismal right now. We gave him an apple to hold for the picture and the photographer clearly was in a set frame that it would not be there and I made it clear I do not care what it takes to keep this child still and not shrieking! We had a very small window of calm for him and we got a few pictures. When it came time to get a pic of the boys together, he would NOT do that at all. He was done. So the photographer again was astounded as I asked her to take a pic of Walker and Curran together instead. She said to try again, I guess she was a gluton for punishment and likely did not have any hearing at all due to the shrieking... lol I simply told her NO it was not going to work as I know Iain far too well.

I am sorry to hear James is exhibiting some signs of the same path.:hug: At least you are experienced and can adjust things for him to make it easier if at all possible. We had this with Curran, but not the same in any way, if that makes sense. We were able to adjust for him, but Iain is so extensive it seems and we have that HUGE speech problem. I am hoping that when all is said and done the speech will come and much of this will abate, but truly I know deep down it will not.

Thanks for letting me know, as it helps to see we are not alone.

Leigh,
Hailey sounds a lot like Iain, and she also has alot of the sensory issues. Her reactions to new people and places were so severe at one point that it was impossible. She's only 18 months, so not quite old enough for bribing, but certainly I've tried to distract her with everything I know how... NOTHING WORKS! And once the launch sequence has been activated, it's really hard to calm her down.
My older one is sort of similar, though not nearly as extreme, and bribing has recently started working. But way back when, she also used to be impossible to reason with or distract or bribe.
I think the problem with sensory issues is that they're not reacting to them on a conscious level, so these mental ways we use to get them through it (like distracting or bribing) don't change things. I've found for Hailey that it's like her body is reacting to too much of a certain stimulus, and the only way to prevent a meltdown is to minimize the cause for her. She's not able to change it just by wanting to.
I know how you feel. It certainly makes every day things challenging. Hailey also has delayed language. Hang in there. We've seen some improvements with time, and I'm hoping for more as she gets older.

Leigh,
NOTHING WORKS! And once the launch sequence has been activated, it's really hard to calm her down.


That is EXACTLY it! We have tried everything and I know from my other two it is not poor parenting as our methods do work for them (within the realm of parenting and having busy boys! lol) It is again a relief to know that others who are in this boat can not bribe either. It strikes me as a huge difference between those kids with sensory issues and those without, even with the speech and language delay tossed in.

I have always noted that stimulation or over stimulation is a big problem for Iain. He will literally melt onto the floor when he is put into a situation where there is a lot of people or a new situation to deal with and the shrieking just will not stop. He has been exposed to new situations since a baby, so this is nothing new for him and I am just waiting for one day for this to be better.

And once the launch sequence has been activated, it's really hard to calm her down.

LOVE the analogy!!!!

Catherine is like this, too. I've only recently started to try to bribe her, but no success. I don't know if she's not old enough to grasp the concept (I suspect she is) or is just too far gone once a fit starts. I carried her around screaming in the grocery store this morning and not even the offer of a couple of matzo crackers from a brand new box made a difference. I hope she improves before she gets too big to manhandle!