I have been BF since my youngest was born 4 1/2 months ago. We have had some problems including, mastitis, thrush, fussing at the breast, and most recently coughing/gagging/and choking during the whole feeding (not let-down related). Our pedi said that we need to thicken his feedings, or give him cereal before nursing. My son, is not amused by the cereal at night...no way...he wants to nurse only! So, I have been giving him a bottle at night, as he will cough/choke/gag if I just nurse him. During the day, giving him the cereal is very time consuming, as I have an active 3 year old as well. I feel I am always feeding/nursing the baby and neglecting my oldest. I dont' know what to do! It makes me sad to think about stopping nursing, but it makes me sad to not have time to help my oldest with a puzzle when he is begging me :( Help!!

BFing is such a personal decision you just have to do what is best for you and your family. As far as thickening, it never made a dif. for us. Sebastian did not like it he would choke and gag and refuse the bottle. When he did drink it his reflux was not any better.

It is a tough decision...I was never able to b/f because my son wouln't latch. So, I pumped for about 6weeks. It was hard too.

We started thickening my son's bottles at about 8wks of age and I think it did help him.

Could you try pumping some and then thickening to see if that helps?

Oh honey, that's such a tough call! I've found that nursing is best for Ava, we tried several formulas (soy included), and nothing was any better. Could you pump and thicken for awhile, just so your supply will keep up and you can nurse him at night, so you'll have more free time for your oldest during the day, but you and your little one will still have your snuggle time at night? Maybe just supplement w/ formula for a few bottles during the day?

That's such a tough choice, but I know you'll make the right one for you!

If you have any other ??? or need help, please don't hesitate to ask!

I've been pumping some, and giving him thickened feeds that way as well....I guess I am just tired. I have spoken to some moms who say that pumping and feeding gets very time consuming, and it feels like you are always pumping for feeding. I love my little guy and will do anything for him, but my 3yo doesn't understand why mommy is so busy with the baby :( Anyone have thoughts on pumping/feeding...is it horribly time consuming? Thanks!

I would love to just be able to nurse at night...but then he coughs/chokes/gags if it is not thickened. It is not as big a problem during the day!

I understand...I found pumping to be very time consuming too, and I only had my little to deal with. For us, the decision came to, what was best for him and for our sanity? We knew that he had gotten at least a month of the good stuff...and that was really the best I could do. I was dealing with a horrific case of PPD also.

Has your Dr given you any advice?

I'm sorry...does he only choke at night? I don't have much better advice, we never thickened for Ava (it never made a difference), so all I can offer is my support! You don't want your oldest to feel left out, but I know you also want what's best for the LO.

I think your best bet may be to bf a few times throughout the day, and then offer a thickened bottle at bedtime...would this work?

My pedi really hasn't given much advice other than "Let's not change anything in his diet." That was before the coughing/choking/gagging episodes...now, they don't know really what to tell me. I would love to nurse during the day, but even though it's not as bad during the day, he will still cough/choke/gag. I know it's my decision to make, and I know I will make the right one...but it is so hard! I love the closeness we have had, and though I still had that closeness with my oldest (bottle fed from 7 weeks on), I have a hard time letting go. He is my last baby...maybe that's my problem with it:)

What if you were to have a pumped bottle for night time and thicken it???
I pumped for my son who I nursed for 13 months. However, I only pumped when I had time as it was not a neccessity for him/me. That alone was a pain in the butt, but it was worth it in the end. As Katey stated, you have to do what's right for you and your family as it is a personal choice.

I have thought about what you suggested ZacsMom, the only problem being, that the milk has to be refridgerated. My little guy has no patience for such things as warming up a chilled bottle. He won't take a chilled bottle either (my first one would!) High-maintenance is his middle name :)

What if you pumped right before feeding him and just gave it to him immediately?

Oops...I didn't think my previous post went through, so I posted it again! The pumping right before feeding may work...may try tonight!

I was pumping and feeding for about a month. It was time consuming but I was able to get it down to four times a day.

As far as chilling the milk, I read the breast milk can be at room temp for up to nine hours. I read it in a LLL book as well as on a breast feeding web site. At night I would keep the bottles at the foot of his bed. Then when he woke up I could just grab one.

I hope you find a system that will work for everyone. Your post is making me a little nervous. I am preg with my second right now. They are only going to be 16 months apart! I hope I don't go too crazy. Good luck and hang in there.

Good point! Yes, you can always pump even just a couple hours before bedtime (last bottle/feeding) and keep it room temp until you're ready to give it!

Hi,

allie would choke when I nursed her b/c my let down was too powerful for her. Try a nipple shield by medela. If you have a babies r us by you, they carry them there, or I'm sure you could get one online. That worked wonders for us and it made things easier on Allie - it really slowed the flow of my milk down.

I'll be honest with you in your decision to quit - we really saw things get worse with Allie's reflux when I stopped BF'ing. Breast milk has a natural antacid and I wish now that I never would have listened to that doc who gave me formula and told me to stop nursing and give her Alimentum instead. That was the biggest mistake in my life.

Any of the reading you will do with regard to reflux says that breast milk is the best thing for it and I just don't want you to regret your decision to quit - I would hate to see his reflux get worse.

HTH!
C

You have already recieved tons of great advice. I think maybe Sara's idea of pumping a few hours before bedtime and then thickening it and giving it to him may help. Does he sleep through the night??

IMO pumping is a lot more work then just nursing the baby. I did it for awhle when dealing with supply issues and it was very wearing but I was also nursing my ds at the same time. Even when I would not have enough breastmilk for him and he would get one bottle of Alimentum, his spitting up would definitely increase. Breastmilk is a lot eaiser on their tummies. Is not being able to spend enough time with you 3 year old your main concern?? If so have you ever tried a sling?? I nursed ds in his sling and could have my handsfree, it helped a little. It will slow down too, 4 months is when Jackson seemed to nurse the most, when he was on more solids he did slow down a little.

Well hth in the end you have to do what is best for you and no one else can tell you what to do.

It's been said... this is a personal choice and you have your whole family to consider. I have so BTDT... and will be there again in October (hopefully minus the reflux in a baby!). Here's my 2 cents (lol, you get waht you pay for...):

You have done a great job so far. Nursing is time consuming, true... and nursing a GERDling is not fun, by any stretch of the imagination. HOW you feed your baby is NOT an issue of faith and morals. The goal is a well fed, growing baby and a calm mommy. period. How you achieve that is beside the point.

As to the gagging and stuff. Have you tried nursing in some unconventional positions? Maybe use a sling or a front carrier of some kind to keep baby upright. The traditional cradle hold and football hold are quite flat for refluxers. Have you consulted with a lactation consultant? Even if it is expensive (mine was!), it could very well make all the difference. Mine gave me some alternative positions and worked with my ped during the time we were trying to figure out what was wrong with Ian. Had we known sooner what his issue was, we might have nursed longer... we made it to 6 months before weaning to bottles.

I know what it's like to always be nursing. Ian was the worst... and I pumped like crazy to keep my supply up. And at the time I was homeschooling my two older sons. It was crazy and hard. I'm glad I did it... but please, please, please listen to this: Do Not Feel Guilty If You Decide To Quit. It really is ok. You do have to be there for your other kiddo - you are wife and mommy to other people beside the littlest one.