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I b'feed my daughter (now that she's older, it's only before bedtime) and when she was little, I exclusively b'fed and didn't even pump. (She wouldn't take a bottle, so I just gave up--was so much easier in the long run).

Anyway, I used to go to LLL meetings and befriended several of the moms. I heard constantly that she couldn't possibly be sick because I was b'feeding and that if I "just kept b'feeding", she'd be okay. Of course, I kept b'feeding, but my poor kid wasn't diagnosed until she was 9 months old.

Now I get strange looks when people hear that I still nurse my daughter before bedtime--she's 18 months old.

I think that often people think in very black and white terms. Breastfeeding is supposed to be the best thing you can do for your baby, so people sometimes make the assumption that b'fed babies just don't get sick or have problems. On the other hand, a lot of moms here who ended up having to switch to formula have taken all sorts of guff from people who assume that they don't have their child's best interest in mind.

I think GERDlings in general seem to be the target of lots of (often hurtful) comments. :-(

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I'm sure you'll find that almost every other member here has dealt with the comments about spit up being "normal" and with "helpful" advice about how to deal with it. :-( Unfortunately, it seems to be a common problem.

It is very difficult to deal with unsupportive friends/family members (even if they do mean well) on top of all the stress that reflux and related problems can bring. Do you have any friends or family who are supportive/don't make these comments? You may find that you'll begin to form strong bonds with those who are supportive of you and that you become more distant with those who question/deny the diagnosis.

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WHen you don't live it, you don't know. I mean why would someone research and learn about everything we had to learn about if their baby was healthy and GERD free or responded to some changes in the way and what their babies ate? I know I never would have. I WAS one of those people. I didn't know any better, and I have gone back in time in my head and realized I said some awful and hurtful things to people, but I honestly thought I was helping. I have also thought to myself some pretty stupid and un understanding things about other mothers.

Ignorance IS bliss, it's simplistic and clear, not cloudy and confusing like knowing is. A part of me wishes so badly that I was still ignorant, but at the same time I think I have become a better person because of Eric and his tummy and for that I am very grateful.

UGH! So many stupid comments I have heard through all of this. Things that made me burning mad. Things that made me cry. Things that hurt me to the deepest part of my heart. Things that made me laugh and give eye rolls, and then I have to admit to myself that I am guilty of saying or thinking the same things to other mothers, and even about myself. All of this was very humbling for me.

Still, understanding this doesn't take the anger or the hurt any less real when someone says something wrong to me.

(((BIG HUG)))

'All you have to do is elliminate everything that makes her throw up. ARG!
Well GEE...didn't know it was that SIMPLE?! :doh:
Sorry to hear you feel unsupported by your friends/familiy. You'll find pleanty here.
I BF my son until he weaned at 13 months and I tell you...when he was 6 months old, I wanted to quit but I was scared to death of how much worse he could possibly get, being that he was strictly BF'd and had reflux pretty bad reflux issues. I just kept telling myself that it was best for him.
Anyhow, I suppose Mary's right in saying that some people just assume that since you BF, your child should not be "sick." It's hard to educate people on this issue and that's why we need boards like THIS! :)

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in the past two days I've joined three boards with GERD and Reflux support hoping to find people to talk with about this stuff

Isn't this place GREAT?!
I'm so glad I found it! and glad you did too ;)

and I totally understand the lack of family support. UGH! My family is so stubborn!!!!!(where do you think I get it from!? LOL)
They are slowly but surely coming around though

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Good for you for sticking with it, Melissa! :)

I was all set to b/f my son and he never would latch...too much boob, not enough nipple, impatient child (sorry if tmi). I pumped for over a month, then got an infection and had to quit...it was tough to make the decision to go to formula. I felt like a failure in some ways, but he is thriving now so that is the best part.

You go to the b/f classes when you are prego and they never tell you about how it might be hard, how it might not work out, and that it is okay if you aren't able to nurse, kwim?

Will I try it again if we are able to have another baby? Not sure...

As for the comments from others....I've spent abouot 8mths educating people about my son's reflux and have been surprised at the people I'm meeting who have experienced it too, either in their own kids, nieces/nephews, etc. My mom tells people that I have become some what of an advocate on the topic, and I guess I have in a way... :)

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I had my hubby's mom and grandmother tell me it was my fault that my son KC is sick. They told me that if I would have taken better care of myself my son would not be sick. My son started out on Zantac and is now on prevacid,eyrythromicin,and now he is on Viokase for pancreatic protein enzyme difficiency. There is alot of people who seem to think that this is all made up and there is no such thing as infant GERD. I have learned to just ignore people that are negative. If they have not lived it they have NO idea what we mothers go through on a daily basis.
Lauren

You go to the b/f classes when you are prego and they never tell you about how it might be hard, how it might not work out, and that it is okay if you aren't able to nurse, kwim?
Very good point, Miori.

I'm glad they are coming around! Are they like the don't believe anything is wrong type parents or the think it's your fault type?

Oh nothings wrong and I'm just making mountains outta mole hills.
Now my Mom is freakin' out and I'm the one saying Mom the ball is rolling, it may be a slow roll but and least something is happening finally.
LOL
She wanted me to take him to the ER yesterday because he felt so bad. Well I would think you would feel bad TOO if your strong med was taking away abruptly and replaced by a weaker med. "Mom, we have been through worse, and there's really nothing that can be done right this second, we have to be patient. Eric can handle anything, he's proven it too me time and time again."
It's nice to have her finally believing, but it sure would have been cool if she believed me when Eric was a newbee and stopped breathing on a daily basis.

Then I have my sister who thought nothings wrong. Now she believes Eric has GERD, but she still insists that it's a normal baby problem. She's constantly comparing other children to Eric. "So and so's baby did that too and he was fine. Oh yeah my kids did that too, and they're fine." So I guess she's wondering around thinking all babies have GERD. She doesn't see the difference between GER and GERD at all. I swear I could talk about it till I was blue in the face. LOL

My DH blames me for all of it. :( sigh

and everyone else in my family doesn't matter as much. They don't understand, but I don't need them to. My Mom and my Sis are my people that I NEED, and they are getting there, so I couldn't be happier. I'm hoping once all this testing is done and my DH finally gets to talk to the GI, he'll be changing his tune too.

Oh and you should be proud of breast feeding. You used your knowledge and got through a very tough stage. WTG!

I planned on breast feeding Eric past a year, because I wished I had with Emilia. I really LOVED breast feeding her, and I let the old Whole milk by age one get in the way.
I only made it 3 weeks LOL. I had no idea what was going on. It HAD to be me. My milk was bad or I didn't make enough, so on so on. Having the doc suggest formula was all it took. No arm twisting at all. LOL
I really wish I knew then what I know now

Then I have my sister who thought nothings wrong. Now she believes Eric has GERD, but she still insists that it's a normal baby problem. She's constantly comparing other children to Eric. "So and so's baby did that too and he was fine. Oh yeah my kids did that too, and they're fine." So I guess she's wondering around thinking all babies have GERD. She doesn't see the difference between GER and GERD at all. I swear I could talk about it till I was blue in the face. LOL



Ugh. I have a friend (whom I've distanced myself from lately) who finds it necessary to CONSTANTLY compare B to her same-age son or to other kids at the park, etc. ("Look--Bethany is the same size as that boy", etc.) She also incessantly grills me with questions, as if trying to find "holes" in my story. She, too, feels there's nothing wrong with B and thinks I'm just overreacting. She constantly tells me that B looks "just fine" and that her son, too, is having trouble gaining weight lately and is a "picky eater, just like Bethany". (BTW--he's 33 inches tall and weighs 28 lbs.)

People like this sap your energy and will never, ever accept that there's actually something wrong with your kid. After awhile, you'll begin to know who's going to someday come around and who is going to make your life miserable. It's sad, but at some point, you just start to distance yourself from those who aren't supportive.

I know exactly how you are feeling, I have a group of people at playgroup and one of the ladies actually told me that Parker is only sick, because of all the testing he has had WTH? What kind of comment is that. Her daughter had reflux and at the time she complained a lot and she grew out of it quick, you would think she would have some sympathy.

I breast fed my first son till 1 year on the fact I was told that B/F babies have less chance of allergies, eczema and asthma, well Cooper has it all.

I fed parker till he was 9 months and stopped because I just didn't understand reflux, I thought I was doing him a favour by stopping cause he wasn't feeding well. I thought at least with a bottle he would get enough also, well this was when all our problems began, he stopped drinking and eating. I wish i knew about eliminating foods from my diet, maybe this would have been better, giving up is a real sore point for me, cause I felt that I had no choice and really some Dr etc. should have given me some advice.

Be proud that you are breastfeeding, you are so doing the right thing and enjoy it. When people give you comments like that ignore them.

Miori- I hope I didn't come across anti formula! Freja was formula fed exclusively till about 14 months. So I'm definately not. I'm just so proud me and Raeden have gotten so far through lots of crap :)

Oh not at all, Melissa!!! :) I was just sharing my story as part of the discussion. Through all of this, including some challenges in my pregnancy, I have learned to go with the flow and adjust to changes as they come along...if you have your mind set that things have to be a certain way, it will only make it more difficult, kwim?

I think it is great that you and Raeden have made b/f work! I know it is great for reflux and a lot of mom's here have adjusted their diet to be milk/soy free to meet their babies needs...that is a huge committment! :)

Melissa, I have a friend tha tis doing the opposite. She is trying to get me to stop B/fing b/c she thinks that it is the cause to Scarlett's problem. I just say it is fine and she is doing better on b/f than formula.

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Zoee was like that...She was born at 7lbs 12oz and gained weight rapidly. She was 16lbs as well at 4 months. Everyone was saying the same thing to me as well!

As for the autism,I hear you! we get the same with Hobbes or we get....All kids do that! That is normal behaviour!

LOL we get the "he isn't THAT skinny", yes he is! Drives me nuts.